Take Flight, Little Bird...
 

i stare deeper
into the puddle of sky on the ground
and try to be profound on a daily basis
sometimes the radio
doesn't make a sound
despite my endless tuning of the stations
and i want to fly away
that is; leap far from here
to a place where nothing would be the same
I cannot stop thinking
of how the feelings would stop sinking
once I take flight into the air
like so many paper cranes
so I fumble with sheet after sheet
creating my own future
each little bird symbolizing a person
or oh so many suitors
for Lady Luck,
who abandoned me, rather
she didn't give a fuck
but I sewed up that wound with cold suchers
it's nice to meet you though
i hope we can be friends
I'll make a crane for you if you like
...but I really have to go
this musn't be the end
because wondering is bad for the psyche
these little birds are my only friends
and unlike what they pretend...

they'll never fly away from me.

It is so awesome how you don't get replies because people are too busy posting up their own pieces and are physically incapable of returning the favor.....

This was a dope piece, and I had trouble finding the flow but I got it. Matter of fact, this may have been the first piece I read of yours.

It was a nice simple piece and there is nothing quite like a longing to be free and get away from it all.....something we can't always have to experience at the moment.

However, I think you meant "sutures" and not "suchers" but I could be wrong.

Nice piece - I think if vocab was raised a little it would hit harder. Just since the subject of this piece is a feeling - longing - needs words to create that emotion. Think you did alright - just could be improved a bit. Liked your scheme. Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you can.

GAH!!! I hate these kids who talk about vocab. It's not the fucking world.
AND, Maven has vocab, he just knows when and where to use the right words. This piece was simplistic in a poetry type manner. If he had of used any different wording than he did it would have made it sound awkward, and out of place. It just wouldn't have made sense.

I still can't figure it out Maven. I've been wracking my brain over it, but I just can't figure out exactly what you were talking about.

this was an interesting piece as ever
loved the opener..
the reflection of the sky in a puddle
and then the radio reference..really liked it
the filoding of the sheets of paper etc was all dope too
somehow i managed to visualise and place myself in the writers position thruout the verse
flow was easily latched onto..changed up in a few spots but..eh
this was one of those pieces i understood fully..and yet cant figure out what its about exactly
poetically written and delivered in a sound way
props again

i'd appreciate a reply to my Anopheles piece :-)

Good*Good:)