first real piece take a look
 

yo i'm the cripple in red
or the blood red crip
ya, you heard what i said,
dont make me bust you in the lip:
this here's the federal ferret
yo, he walks the walk
in that he has merit
but hell never talk.
man, together well make you balk
cause we sick like that
the ferret, he likes to stalk
man, me, i just rock,
dont say nothin dissin
or you i will sock
man, you just pissin
ill take you to the dock
cu, youll sink like a rock
your body the ferret will fill with weights
so it dont float back to the top
man stop that cryin
heres a mop:
'snot like your dyin,
fuck, them tears youd better sop,
~F2

*THIS RAP WAS WRITTEN BY FEDERAL FERRET AND INTENDED TO BE RAPPED BY THE BLOODY RED CRIP. :shoot:

and this was a poem? this isn't worth the criticism...

umm is all i have to say

agrees with ripedfire.

maybe poems isnt youre thing man

that was pretty bad dog-- i can see your idea, its just a fucked up one

well hummm see it...... well hum... didnt make no kinda sense

all hail rapid fire haha

your a bit whack - post it in a rap forum not poetic scriptures - from an old member with new id

i didnt know what you were talking about

Wasn't a poem...

It was quite "unique" and "eccentric" whatever it was.....LOL...you fell off your bike on this one, dust yourself off and give it another go....

your a newb..so I can't say anything bout it..well i was never as bad as u..but this isn't a poem...just keep tryin..and change your name..cuz first impressions always count..