Lunar Dreams
 

Become comical, don't take life so serious..

It's apparent, the Martians are out there ready to take Earth..
They have the abilities to take the Systems super military gurth..
Picture them as it would seem, green with an oversized head..
Instead, they have shiney faces that gleam, eye's firery red..
Their choice of weapons, annihilate with one simple fired shot..
Their powers make your head spin, into one dimple type knot..
These Martians, have already dominated Jupiter and France..
Hell, they caught the Prime Minister with a porno and no pants!..
So how would it go down, how would our world be spiked..
How'd our American Democracy we've worked for end up like..
The thought of it's disturbing, not something to be brought up..
Imagine, no more pointing with one hand, like Donald Trump..
The whole thought of it sucks, all these families being killed..
There's all our luck, just to make the Martians hopes fulfilled..
Hhhmmm, to bad these events will never occur it seems..
Cause, all that's just happened, occured in a schizos lunar dreams..

Wam bam upping mam..

Erm...It's aight, a bit simple, but good...the only thing i wanna know is...Whats it about?

lmao..RVTL drop..

I like this...I think you have a good chance of winning...depends who you are up against?

Im gonna be as honest as possible for you....now when i saw the title "lunar dreams" i thought that this was gonna be some sci fi adventure type piece....you convey that message with most lyrics.....but you really strayed off topic with that donald trump line...dont input weak lines just for the sake of rhyming...filler material is a sin....just always be at your best....this piece is really too short to really be telling me anything you know?...is this a narrative story or what?.... flesh this out more and use a little more imagination....im out (RETURN THE FAVOR BY HITTING UP MY OPEN MIC IN MY SIGNATURE)

i agree with pen, this was quite good, didnt think the scheme was simple, like vokal said... idiot...lol.... you kept a smooth flow going and the vocab was evenly placed,.... nice.... good luck!

Thanks everyone..and ORION..I threw stuff in there just to make it funny..stuff I'd seen people make fun of on TV..I was just simply writing this for stupidity and fun..I thought some people may wonder about it..that's why at the top I said be comical..!
P.S I'm up against..Transmogrify..

this was interesting.....flow was very good....had some funny, and meaningfull lines...
structure was good....metas were good...wordplay decent....
lmao at that prime minister line....and the France one .. lol ..
but decent piece here...okay consistancy.....must'a been fun writing this.! :)...
good job keep it up

thanks..