John Dough |vs| makaveli-rest
 

10 lines
spit as soon as possible
Normal rules
and check in..
good luck

checkin in il be done in 10 to 30 minutes.................

check i'm a lil busy right now
so..it will prolly be like 30-40 mins

im riding in my escalade
with my extra blade in my pocket
in the other one i got my rocket
i got out the car and poped it
the guy was john dough
down in one blow
he didnt think
thats why he was unconus in one blink
i poped it again now he dead
got hit straight in the head



sorry it was short but im in a rush and have to go somewhere

Ya great kid..ya elevated..going up against u..I'll fall
fuck that..
....I don't know whether to post 2 lines or not at all!
Damn looks like you took a shit..then went and posted it
Wait hold up..let me go get a fuckin mod to close this
So ya tupac huh? are you just looking for a bit of fame?
Cuz ya punches are about as played..as well..ya name!
Its wrestling match..but in tha opening seconds u get pinned
You want pacs name? well i guess you'll get shot up like him!
Fuck a closer..shit..don't need one..i don't know whats worse
Reading ya fucking name..or reading ya fucking verse!

im riding in my escalade
with my extra blade in my pocket
i looked over your verse first. its more of an open mic piece
in the other one i got my rocket
i got out the car and poped it
you have flow i mean.. but other than that you really dont send any punches (disses) to your opponent, i mean this IS a battle
the guy was john dough
down in one blow
also you need to connection your lines better, follow through/set up era.. vise versa... this will give better stroy telling ability when battling some one
he didnt think
thats why he was unconus in one blink
i mean yours sort of had that but, it seems liek your stilla newer emcee, which is fly, but you need to work on rhyme shceme, flow,metaphors, PUNCHS...
i poped it again now he dead
got hit straight in the head
[b] yea heard me?

Start with workign onyour punchlines.. after that develop a better flow/rhyme scheme, then comes multis, then comes metaphors lastly you should try for is wordplay.

Ya great kid..ya elevated..going up against u..I'll fall
fuck that..
....I don't know whether to post 2 lines or not at all!
kind of a fast flow here.. sarcasim, g thats not in rap now a days. eh this opening could have been better. not much of a diss
Damn looks like you took a shit..then went and posted it
Wait hold up..let me go get a fuckin mod to close this
coudl havebeen a much better bar. punch was straight but not that hard. follow through wasnt bad i suppose but really needed more of a punch to it
So ya tupac huh? are you just looking for a bit of fame?
Cuz ya punches are about as played..as well..ya name!
eh, alright personal shot for this battle, could have came harder with the strength but decent for the battle
Its wrestling match..but in tha opening seconds u get pinned
You want pacs name? well i guess you'll get shot up like him!
not impressed by this bar... wrestling match was an ok concpet but you didnt follow through enough with it nor direct it. the follow through was basic in my eyes, but alright
Fuck a closer..shit..don't need one..i don't know whats worse
Reading ya fucking name..or reading ya fucking verse!
good ending, sort of had direction that was dope to it. connected punch bar, which is the kind i like set up and follow through..

over all you had an alright verse for this battle seemed a little rushed and could have came off better but its all good. i would work on you consistency for punchs and your flow. but really i would start with working up better metaphors which might add to your punchlines.

vote- John Dough
Took it witha better verse, more consisent punchs.

Drop an honest vote, then ill come back and poll vote for you
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113612

lol...i took a total of 4 minutes on this battle
i was busy...outcome..you forgot to poll vote


1

makaveli-rest

im riding in my escalade
with my extra blade in my pocket
in the other one i got my rocket
i got out the car and poped it
dont know where the 1st bar ends, so broke it off here...regardless..very wack!!
the guy was john dough
down in one blow
umm...no
he didnt think
thats why he was unconus in one blink
weakkkk
i poped it again now he dead
got hit straight in the head
wack closer man, very very wack

~~

John Dough

Ya great kid..ya elevated..going up against u..I'll fall
fuck that..
....I don't know whether to post 2 lines or not at all!
this opener looks hella better than that dude's
Damn looks like you took a shit..then went and posted it
Wait hold up..let me go get a fuckin mod to close this
not bad..
So ya tupac huh? are you just looking for a bit of fame?
Cuz ya punches are about as played..as well..ya name!
had a good beginning, lost it whith second line..
Its wrestling match..but in tha opening seconds u get pinned
You want pacs name? well i guess you'll get shot up like him!
kinda played..ehh..ok i guess
Fuck a closer..shit..don't need one..i don't know whats worse
Reading ya fucking name..or reading ya fucking verse!
ehhhhh, so-so

Overall, makaveli, dude, your in a battle .. this isnt story telling time..you really need to elevate badly..and John, you arent quite in the same boat, but if you were battling someone who actually knew what they were doing, you prolly woulda got beat..no hate to either, just being honest aiight?

Vote ~ John Dough (i'm almost at poll vote, sorta..if this aint decided by then, i be back aight?)

y0, hit this up man, i took the time for yours...thanks..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114198

makaveli won this easily.....lol.....ok...maybe not....makaveli...u need to really concentrate on DISSING YOUR OPPONENT.....there is no point for a breakdown or quotes in this battle....it is obvious why John won...he had punches and a better verse that dissed his opponent....also.....Mak. u need to up ur vocabulary...and extend ur lines a little more for room to diss your opponent instead of talking about what vehicle u ride in...(opener)....

Vote - John...for having a verse that dissed his opponent instead of talking about himself.....

do i really have to explain this vote.. ok i guess.. this easly was a merking.. who really thinks that john dough had a chance?? i did lol mak should really coscetrate on trying to hit the oppentent with a punchline instead of actually hitting yourself with a loss too bad try and elevate a lot

Uppin for tha kO
This is number 2
Trying to type 50

ok if u gunna take four minutes to post that weak ass shyt just dun post

Break Down:

Micaville-Rest:

Once again elevate…Your battle should be way more directed towards
Your opponent stop battling heads until you elevate.
You battle was ridiculous

John Dough:

Flow was on point as well as structure…That’s all I need to state.
Was good enough to beat him…John advice battle other heads that
Are on your level so you can elevate. Stop battling emcee that are not
On your level.

Vote goes to JD
Better verse period.