In Peace I Believe!!!!
 

since september 11 2001
evry1 had a gun
and became American
more muslims r diein, n havd died since d attak
no 1 cares, let dem die, wont do jak
even if muslims didnt exist, it wudve bin blamd on asains or blak
dis has made me more determined to make a trak
need to stop d crak
n keep my hed up
coz i cant think; its makin me cluk
stop d killin
stop d drivillin
god help us
bless us
cant wait 4 d resurrection of jesus
so we can wipeout pple who r hartles
n den do summin, no 1 can guess!!!!!!

Chorus

in peace i blive
in peace id luv 2 liv
start prayin
neva stop blivin
coz im redy 4 a batle 2 win bak peace

This needs some work.....structure needs to be fixed up....try making your short lines longer and try keeping all of your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps suppor the flow of your piece.....try working on making it more complex....and up your vocab.....but keep at it.