Lyrics hot or NOt critics wanted
 

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Yo whats up check these lyrics out and halla at me and tell me what u think
I keep it tight on the microphone/ White doing it right but unknown/ Might postpone/ But when I get the right tone/ Be in the zone/ See me taking the throne/Making steps to be all grown/Aching to be a M.C/ Taking over like Capone/ Getting busy/ Starting to get easy/ Like nike I jus do it/ Spit on da mic/ Commit to it so u like/ Whoa check da flow/ Now all girls get down on da floo/ When I come around wanna/ Hear dat ohh aww sound/ End is near gonna withdraw/ Have no fear/ ill be back with in a year/ na back already/ cuz Zach keeps it steady/ u ready/this medly crazy,tight, basically white, rockin da mic tight/ almost deadly/ don’t want to brag n boast/ lag on da east coast / still betta dan most/ name will get out like a chain letta/ ILL when I Spill my game N fulfill yo brain/ wit insane lyrics / ya hear this/ didn’t know I exist/till I got yo hoe that was yo miss

Big Bro
Chorus
Its like yo watcha wanna do
So anotha wish made
Once again didn’t come true
Then ya wanna be through
When ya aint feeln blue
Dis the life of a real teen age duu

Verse 1
This is my life and times
Almost lost my brother cuz of a crime
Cried cuz he had to do time
Tried to hide my feelings inside
Seeped in my heart felt like I died
My big bro, have so much pride

Verse 2
Cops pulled up
They stop put my bro in cuffs
He’s tuff, me heart started to drop
Body flopped no way we could be apart
How would I last another day
All I could do is pray
Lay in bed ball wondering
What should I say, play
Couldn’t stop thinking bout him all day
Is it always gonna be this way
Mom says it’ll be ok
Missed him on Christmas day

that str8. you could get better metas.

Didnt like how you structured it in the beginning though....try not to put it in paragraph form like that....structure it line on top of line so its structured good and so it doesnt make it harder to read cause it some times throws the flow off...but keep at it.