dagreatest V furoshis
 

i just got this message from this dick ryder furoshis/ he wanna battle me so i'ma handle this/ lyrically drop bombs on his fucking carcass/when i grace the mic/i'm actually worshipped/you aint on on my level/u ill equipped/it needs to be said/nobody knows whose son this is/cos u so ugly/when you were born/u left yo mama brain dead/you hustle all the time/but you cant get no dough/nobody likes you/cos you in to everything thats homo/everytime you try to look in a mirror/it cracks/instead of hitting pussy/you wanna specialise in hitting sacks/you wanna follow the footsteps of your father/who turned gay/and left with yo mama's brotha/you a loner/you so fat and ugly/not even a gay man would wanna rape ya/you a male version of a prostitue/working on the city block/but you always getting attacked/fucking cry like a gay bitch/everytime you gonna get slapped/thats it i'm done/now u know i'm lyrically renound/ding ding/KO/bring on the next round

yo ill use 10 lines that will teft line your neck line like tech nine//
you try to disrespect mine it'll cause a wreck shrine//
wit rhymes that intertwine with prime to great to be divine//
im leavin no sign that ill combine your spine with these wicked lines//
my shit is sublime yo i typed this in in the nick of time//
time for you to throw in the towel cuz u said ur last vowel//
your shit if fowel ill kill u in the dark like the nite owel on site pal//
yo shit is pitiful hand it ova to the next individual that wanna get ridiculed//
every nigga wanna get rid of u cuz they sick of you ima make a spic of you//
you thought you knew but ur death sentence is actually due who they gonna crowned a foo// let the audience decide who won this round me or you//

just sum off the top of da head simple she but i think itll do

aww thas gay dint even notice but its eleven lines when i typed it i could of sworn it was 10 but oh well i guess i just slaughterd him with 11 lines my bad

uppin this........................................

yo man on this verse right here>>>> your shit if fowel ill kill u in the dark like the nite owel on site pal//



is suppose to be>>>>>>>>>>>> your shit is fowel ill kill u in the dark like the nite owel on site pal//

its cool man, can we get votes for this one ova here pls

Can't vote -- not enough posts yet -- but I'd give this one to furoshis. Dagreatest has nothing to bring but poorly executed faggot jokes. The format made it tough to follow his flow, and a lot of his rhymes were sketchy. First suggestion: even if you keystyle your stuff, at least go back and format it into readable lines that fit the meter so you don't lose points for sloppiness. Second suggestion: think of some put-downs other than "you're a fag".

Furoshis (haha) was focused on rhyme schemes and did okay with those, but got carried away with some crazy long lines toward the end. Even if you have a machine-gun delivery, that mess is no fun to read. Chop it down to the essentials or make one line into two or something like that. Pretty solid battle verse though.

yo uppin fo some votes..............................

uppin............................................. .

uppin once again cmon peeps vote on dis its not dat hard ya know........

uppin c'mon guys vote pls.................................

good shit from the both of ya i aint gana vote thow just sayin

vote=furoshoius cuz his shit was better ..................................................

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Cprogress

my last uppp......................................