inside a suicide victim's head
 

just a peice from a text album or book i did last year i've posted it on other sites but not here so tell me what you think and peep the rest of the collection at www.geocities.com/raven420_ca/album.htm

it's almost midnight but this pear isn't cast in darkness/
almost a daytime sight thanks to the moon's brightness/
but for sure like in my life I am here utterly isolated/
my thoughts tear relentlessly my esteem degraded/
when your consensus pulls away as your greatest fear/
when your mood's wild swinging removes who's near/
then you got my state of life my own personal hell/
where life feels void of freedom like existence in a cell/
resistance causes further disturbance in a repeated cycle/
the only way out seems to cause the vital signs to fall/
that's why I'm here now with liquor and cement blocks/
I passed around ideas, often having these suicide thoughts/
so now I stand up and out loud say to no one, 'good bye!'/
'my boss, my ex wife fuck you!', to my child who might cry.../
I'm sorry but it was the only way I apologize for it but bye/
a splash and abit of noise creates a scene worthy for me to die/

yo that shit was fire keep it coming

it was good.
try to increase your vocab so that yor shit could flow/


one


demolish of chryme sindicate

damn, that was pretty hot! Yea, vocab upage would help the flow out a bit. But other than that, it was really good. Keep droppin'. :thumbup:

thanks for the replies