|
Suicide
Yo, I'm not feelin' any suicide feelings, but it was somethin' that was pretty easy for me to write up. I also thought that I would stop wit the funny shit for a while, and do some serious stuff. Here it is:
I’ve fought through adversity, and roughed through the diversity But I never would have expected, that I would take part in a complicity We were walking down an alley… and we saw these two girls They were taggin’ around the finest clothes, and were loaded wit pearls We snuck up from behind… we didn’t make a sound When we were close enough, we took ‘em straight to the ground We covered their yappers. So they couldn’t let out a scream Then one bit my slapper… and her eyes began to stream My hands turned red like a bursted vessel vain skin ripped the bitchs bite caused me termendouse pain. I started to feel the pain… in more ways then one Of all the shit I was in…and wat I had just done Then the girl broke away from me… and she started to run Without thinkin’, I lifted up my jacket… and pulled out my gun I popped out two shells… they hit her and she fell My buddy turned and flew, like a bat outta hell The rain started to pour, and away went the sun The other girl ran away, as I looked at what I had done I could hear the sirens coming. I had blundered the rest I popped one in my head, before they said, “You’re under arrest” Holla back wit feedback. PEACE |
damn im feelin this.
whoah. this is some crazy shit. nice creativity ya got goin on there. peace |
Good Creativity.Excellent Try, For A Person Not Doing Serious Subjects That Often.
|
that was weird but some bangin shit
|
thanks, guys. Yea, I might try some not so serious stuff soon. More feedback would be cool.
|
I could hear the sirens coming. I had blundered the rest/
I popped one in my head, before they said, “You’re under arrest”/ blundered the rest/ under arrest/ multi's good job for a newb |
whoa. :shocked: I didn't notice that. I never really understood wat a multi was, but I think I got it now. Also, would something like this:
Duke University/ Dukin' wit adversity/ Be considered one too? Anyways, thanks for the feedback. PEACE |
you're elevating pretty fast,
|
thanks, man. :thumbup: I took some time to look at some of those tutorials on here, and they really helped. this is a really good site. I even got 2 of my friends to join. Anyways, do you have AIM?
|
naw
|
good peace id like 2 c some more from u
|
Niceness.Very Good Piece.Nice Display Of Emotion And Feelings.Some Parts Could Have Been Delivered A Bit Better And The Flow Could Have Been A Lil Better To Sew Together The Verse But This Is The Best Ive Seen Here None The Less.
Much Daps 8/10 |
thanks a lot guys. I'm currently workin' on one. I'll post it soon. :thumbup:
|
Wow spul..Im definetly LUVIN IT! Your shit is getting amazing...Flow on the lock...Mad respect.
|
Good stuff good stuff - keep up the good work
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:49 PM. |