My first open mike on RB
 

okay okay okay....
her it is ask what?
a mirage- camoflauge,
turnin a 18th century masterpiece into a collage,
invisible,
by no digit divisible,
invincible,
a magnet to any femme in fish nets my pull,
radiance-any blow off is glanced,
king romance,
lady panting out of her panties and pants,
deal wounds to fester,
the tomb filler blood spiller,
lady killer,
up I hold hip-hop like a pillar.

no critiques?

have no idea what that was dog if you want feedback you gonna have to explain that to me......


one love.........

mee too

what this was was a free style,
into your cabinet it you might file,
to preserve for future battles,
the cream of crop for recycles,
dazed and confused asking who done that,
asking what you lack and why it is the shit I spat,
and the end I may give you a pat on the back,
or another piece of rock crack,
for the chance to tap your mommas back,
I got the skills to fills the shoes,
one by one battle whole crews after their bitches I screwed,
so get a clue and come in twos,
if you want I'll play make believe,
and pretend you didnt lose,
oh my GOD!
I cant stop!
so set up shop and smoke a whole weed crop,
anxiously you will wait for the date,
when my next rhyme it comes time to communicate,
at Hells gates with everybodys moms I mate,
the only man in a whole room of hips that gyrate.

Does that clarify things for you...dog?

One love right back at ya'! :laugh:

that was gay as fuck shit didnt rhyme
keep dropin though ull get better with time

Thats highly laughable. :laugh:

na im serious some parts flowed really well and some didnt flow
u could work on vocab and structure

well thats more reasonable, I venture to disagree but thats a much more reasonable critique then saying the lines didnt rhyme! As far as vocab, what would you mean by that? I have a broad vocabulary. Check out my second open.

the first one you tried to do sum gorillaz shit from that song clint eastwood and the second one i wasnt feelin it but keep goin