One Way Trip......
 

I'm on a bus headed south, head filled with lots of doubts//
Why did I sign? Put my life on the line, freedoms forever renounced//
Soon as I step off the bus, I bet I'll get rushed, I feel like garbage//
Yellin in my face, tell me I'm a disgrace, they're Drill Sergeants//
My arms are fallin off, wish I could call it off and get up//
Then they say "On Your Backs" and we all get attacked wit lots of Sit Ups//
First time I held my weapon I felt like wreckin a bunch of faces//
The farthest targets weren't the hardest pretending they were in there places//
They run me into the ground and tell me "Suck it up and drive on"//
I can't stop, I'm brainwashed, they fucked it up my mind's gone//
They're trainin me to be one of the world's deadliest weapons//
Sex ain't far behind but death's whats on my mind every ten seconds//
They teach me a trade and keepin me paid for peace of mind//
I'm fucked jack, left wit a rucksack, everything else I leave behind//
A trip to Germany for what feels like permanently I'll be gone//
My heart is racing, start the pacing til I hear a calming song//
I know I've made it, I hear the sound of cadance in the air//
I've just realized that i had feared guys who just didn't care//
After three years it's me up here givin out all the orders//
A long way I made it won't deny I hate it but not more than the corners//
Back in the day I'd have had my way and stuck it to you//
Wanna pop in on us, I fix rocket launchers, what the fuck do you do?//

Hit me up wit some feed back................

rider shit! thats my muthafucking boy!!!
give him some fair response people. he would do it for you.
one love.


s.v. the kingpin

Uppin for some feedback............

keep it up

^^^What the fuck??? Can I get some real feedback? God Damn!

I can't believe you bitches can't even hit someone up wit some decent feed back

aight iwas feelin 98% ok wat u said!
u had good flow n u worked it well u came hard wit goot word play n meti'z i liked it but my advise( n its only advise) fink out side the box u no be a lil more creative coz u got skillz so exercise 'em peace

^^^ Thanks for the input, but this was a real life experience, that's why it is the way it is.

tight shit some hostility there ..lol but that is what the milatary does to you i guess but nice shit though i was feelin it you amaze me every time your elevating like a mad man
one love pimpin

^^^ thanks........ Means a lot comin from you.............. lol

hey man, i dont know the position ur were in, but the way you spoke it made me feel like i was the one in the boot camp, im in job corpe and i kinda resemble ur situation, that was deep and very knowledgable, keep up the good work.
lil' skip

Good piece, used 2 b an army boy myself so im feelin ya!
reminded me of shit i wud rather 4get!lol!
keep it up
peace out

that was a dope peice. keep it up.tell supervillain that i proved my innocence to cprogress. overall this was a 9/10. very, very ill. keep droppin.
one

Dope rhyme, man

First, this rhyme had abundant multies which really stuck out, instigating me to keep reading on and on.

I guess you could try initiating more multies as it proves excellent in your rhymes, though your already a distinguished and exceptional emcee.

Oh and some vocabulary can prove to be decisive at perfecting your skills

Stayed on topic throughout the rhyme without barely leaving the topic, and EXCELLLENT job of expressing yourself, give you mad props dog

Keep flowing, you'll be BEYOND perfect in a while
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Extra Note-Can you peep my rhyme big pimpin, I'd really appreciate it