this is my first time (pls reply)
 

i ask myself why do we fight
why do we die
just realizing,you can lose you're best friend any second
you're momma,you're dad,you're grandma,you're sister
why to they have to die
we try to live in peace all the time
why do the good people have to go first
i wonder if they die
will they get a reward
is there a heaven
is there a hell
yes,i fell
and i can't get up
i think about the good times we had
and burst in tears
they try to help me but still i can't get up
it's just to hard to go on with you're life when somebody dies
and you know they won't come back
that's just to wack
my life is like heaven
but sometimes it just feels like hell
i don't have a lot of problems
but got a lot of thaugts on my mind
that's why
i need somebody to care 4 me
2 love
and when i'm feeling down just 2 hug me
so i can squeeze in their hand

i ask myself why do we fight
why do we die
just realizing,you can lose you're best friend any second
you're momma,you're dad,you're grandma,you're sister
why do they have to die
i keep on wondering all the time
why is life so hard
and y'all wonder why some people are depressed
that's not hard in this cold world
nobody give's a fuck about another person
they think about their selves and the way they look
my opinion:they look dumb and stupid
help other people
that's what i say
don't call me names
cause you're not better then me
we're all human beings
we all have the same things
so first look in the mirror and then look at you're neighbour

i ask myself why do we fight
why do we die
just realizing,you can lose you're best friend any second
you're momma,you're dad,you're grandma,you're sister
why do they have to die
life doesn't last long
so enjoy it
and try to bring happyness in this world
let the people laugh
let them make fun of you
just do what you wonna do
and not what somebody else want's to do
life is a bitch just slap her in the face
and laugh at her
don't be scared to die
cause we all got to go someday

i ask myself why do we fight
why do we die
just realizing,you can lose you're best friend any second
you're momma,you're dad,you're grandma,you're sister
why do they have to die
life doesn't last long

i ask myself why do we fight
why do we die
just realizing,you can lose you're best friend any second
you're momma,you're dad,you're grandma,you're sister
why do they have to die
life doesn't last long


that was it so now tell me what y'all think

honestly it was hot but it defently wasnt a flow it was defently a poem but till then that shit was nice and you was speaking the real.....1

yeah thas a poem.no real rappin there in ma opinion

ok then a real rap
ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

bin waiting for so long
listening to r.kelly's Thoia Thong
hoping i could make video's with the great ones
music is my life
do anything to get on top
writing lyrics 24/7
listening to pac,feels like "heaven"
some people say my lyrics are good
so i still believe it can happen
yea,rapping till i die
let my feelings show,that's rap for me
not talking bout people getting shot and having bling bling on my finger
just keeping it real for everybody in this world
that's how i wanna be recognized
untill then,still waiting for my breaktrough

ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

can't wait any longer
lyrics getting stronger and stronger
gotta keep writing
maybe i'll get there
i aint in it for the fame
just wanna show the world what double av can do
bring peace in the universe
that's what i wanna do
west-side,east-side it's all the same to me
without biggie and pac there wouldn't even be a difference between east and west
my talent's have bin undercover for so many years
now rising
and already other rappers have fear
lyrics come to me live a brainstorm
it's like every 2 seconds i write a new verse
it hurts when sluts take your spot in the musicbizz
o ow still waiting for my breaktrough

ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

beat

ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

What up?
this is double av
bada boom y'all to slow to stop me
don't you get it??
ya can't copy
my style's to quick and to new
only question remaing
will this be my breaktrough?

ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

beat

ey yo this is my breaktrough
Double AV in this biatch
sing with me
bin waiting so damn long
will this be my breaktrough

wow double av on his breaktrough(fading away)

tell me what y'all think

I liked your poem better.......... ^^^ that wasn't a rap either, just kinda annoying. I'm just tryin to be honest. You didn't even rhyme half the time...... There is a section in here for poems if that is what you're into cause honestly I think you are better at them. Keep up the practice, you can only get better..........

i was a bit disapointed man i thought ur "rap" was gonna be hot but it really wasnt it was really simple, weak, and the hook was horendous. i aint trying to be funny im juss letting u kno. the poem was tite i liked it as far as wat u were speaking of and how u felt about it. keep up the good work on dem poems son

HOLLA BACK AT MINE BLOOD, SWEAT, and TEARS

Not a bad effort man but to be honest...u need more practice.
Hit up my own with a reply nah
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=120515