Sittin on da corner (read dis sh*t and reply)
 

I'm calmly sittin on da corner/
my mind hazy/
cats be spittin 4 some booty/
I'm too lazy/
while notes coalesce in my head and the cess starts sinking in/
I'm thinking I'm depressed and gotta stop binge drinking/
but it aint my fault being displaced from society/
because I think different with the spirit of a giant B/
I be that punk who's fuckin creativity/
can't get nowhere and still I'm whipped like ice scream/
I scream in my mind/
my trained eye still observin/
the sign of the times engraved and metaphors keep reverbin/
I'm still the analyst, the historian, the economist, the poet/
and my often drunk mug betrays, in a phrase , doen't show it/

Much years span before/
I was dope and so raw, I thought/
hungry and inspired by constant writing I had to be da shit without a doubt/
with my dreads I filled heads with unique perspectives/
elected metaphors and similes as my representatives/
some word was spoken/
some thought my sh*t was golden/
some thought my sh*t was broken/
and my dreams of gift-wrapped fame unfolded.../

Nothing came out while ideas still spouting from my mouth and the noose tightens round my neck, still can't fuck with this golden goose/
subjects of thought pass and go/
dey don't know what I go through/
I take a next sip to clear my thoughts to later write a verse or two.

I need some feedback. Hit me up...plz

shit was tite homeboy and i really liked the ending line to the first verse, shit was raw. i was a little disapointed in some of forced rhymes and some of them didnt rhyme but other than that, shit was hot. Thanks for the feedback on my shit holla bak.

shit was nice but rhymes were lackin but it was tight had a couple nice ass bars in therre too shit was definately tight keep doin you dawgy! ~UnO~

Need some feedback

Uppin for feedback