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-   -   A moment in the legacy of the paper man (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=120802)

Paper Man 04-26-04 01:53 AM

A moment in the legacy of the paper man
 
all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns...

A city street crowded as if someone
was throwing out free porn to the masses
and in the center of all the frantic
chaotic sweat drenched legions
stands one silent unmoving being
going unseen as if he was just a
spec of dust on the back of someones cheap
polyester shirt...who is this man?

all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns...

In the flash of one forgoten second the man
leaps onto a newspaper vending machine and
cries out " revolution!" no one hears him...
"we must free ourselves from societies
constraints, untie ourselves from the wires
that the media has knoted into our brains
to buy the next big thing that falls apart
in two days" no one hears him...
" we must revolt, let revolution
burst forth unto your ears, until
it pops every last blood vessel in
your body" no one hears him...

all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns...

the man jumps back on to the hot
sticky pavment.....
going just as untoticed as before..
but he is content, he siad his piece,
if the people do not hear that is their
choice...for that is freedom....

all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns...

Paper Man 04-27-04 03:18 AM

uppin for sum feed

Paper Man 05-01-04 10:59 PM

this is amazing..not one piece of feedback.you fucks

Paper Man 05-06-04 05:08 AM

.................damn

Paper Man 05-09-04 12:42 AM

will i never get feedback?

Killuminatic 05-10-04 04:19 AM

heres some feedback. That shit was fuckin stupid.

onetwo 05-10-04 12:51 PM

i'm not much of a poet myself, so my opinion doesn't mean much, but that was pretty dope. the use of adjectives was fluent and pulled the whole thing together. nice drop. just don't up your shit so much.

BLAZE203 05-10-04 04:02 PM

it was good i guess kinda like a story but i didnt really get it

Paper Man 05-11-04 11:05 PM

ima up this piece a thousand times if i gotta.this is been up almost 3 weeks, and hass been to the bottom of the page 5 times..witrh no responses , so yea ima up this, and kilu, fuck off.you wanna talk shit battle me, otherwise shut the fuck up

and thanks to those who actualy gasve feedback

LadyLyrical 05-12-04 07:52 PM

i think that no one gave feedback to this cuz people didnt understand it ...i think this was real and true and i liked the first couple of lines in the second stanza you could work on the way you structured it a lil but other then that this was real and a nyce drop stay up 1

Crossword 05-12-04 08:30 PM

This was a nice piece. I loved the message, and it really reminded me of a R.A.T.M type feel to the words. Really Nice drop. I know its a short feedback but thats what i have to say about it :).

Vango 05-12-04 08:33 PM

i like the piece, keep it up kid.

Paper Man 05-16-04 02:16 PM

thanks all...............


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