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A moment in the legacy of the paper man
all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns...
A city street crowded as if someone was throwing out free porn to the masses and in the center of all the frantic chaotic sweat drenched legions stands one silent unmoving being going unseen as if he was just a spec of dust on the back of someones cheap polyester shirt...who is this man? all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns... In the flash of one forgoten second the man leaps onto a newspaper vending machine and cries out " revolution!" no one hears him... "we must free ourselves from societies constraints, untie ourselves from the wires that the media has knoted into our brains to buy the next big thing that falls apart in two days" no one hears him... " we must revolt, let revolution burst forth unto your ears, until it pops every last blood vessel in your body" no one hears him... all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns... the man jumps back on to the hot sticky pavment..... going just as untoticed as before.. but he is content, he siad his piece, if the people do not hear that is their choice...for that is freedom.... all the children jump in glee as the paper man burns... |
uppin for sum feed
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this is amazing..not one piece of feedback.you fucks
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.................damn
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will i never get feedback?
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heres some feedback. That shit was fuckin stupid.
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i'm not much of a poet myself, so my opinion doesn't mean much, but that was pretty dope. the use of adjectives was fluent and pulled the whole thing together. nice drop. just don't up your shit so much.
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it was good i guess kinda like a story but i didnt really get it
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ima up this piece a thousand times if i gotta.this is been up almost 3 weeks, and hass been to the bottom of the page 5 times..witrh no responses , so yea ima up this, and kilu, fuck off.you wanna talk shit battle me, otherwise shut the fuck up
and thanks to those who actualy gasve feedback |
i think that no one gave feedback to this cuz people didnt understand it ...i think this was real and true and i liked the first couple of lines in the second stanza you could work on the way you structured it a lil but other then that this was real and a nyce drop stay up 1
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This was a nice piece. I loved the message, and it really reminded me of a R.A.T.M type feel to the words. Really Nice drop. I know its a short feedback but thats what i have to say about it :).
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i like the piece, keep it up kid.
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thanks all...............
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