Rapaholics Annoymous
 

Good evening and welcome to Rapaholics Annoymous. Would you like to introduce yourself. Don't be shy...

My name's Darkman, and I'm a rapaholic,
...I chat literal, i don't do symbolic,
Call me watcha want,blud, badmind,evil,de-
Monic...I still leave a blur like sonic, when i
Flow it's contagious like bubonic, the a-
Bility to spit gets pass around like chronic, un-
Til it leaves us drunk like it was Gin n Tonic,
Gimme da mike, drop a beat and i'm on it, for
Real...i'm so sick i make myself so ill, i
Have to go doctor's n get me a pill,
Every time i drop rhyme, i stop feelin fine...I
Start shakin and get a cold chill down my,
Spine...Oh my! Here we go again,
These are da sysmptoms, grab a pad n pen,
First things first, my throat gets tense...
...Then i blackout n lose my sense, of
Peace and harmony between two people,
All I start thinkin of is pure evil, it's
Like Jekyll n Hyde...goin on inside, and da
Good n evil jus speed n collide, like a
Car crash, leavin me nice, but brash, i'll be
Nice, but all i give a fuck about's da cash, and i'll
Tell a boy straight, cos i don't give a fuck,
Buck wid me, you'll get buss, no fuss, just
Ruck...knock you to da ground left hurt, face
Down in the dirt with blood on ya shirt,
See, there i go again, goin too deep, when i
Flow, i go to put a boy in permanent sleep,
Yo, these days my darkside's in recession, but
Every now'n'again, it takes over like possession, dat's
Why i'm at dis session...Feelin dark today, and i'm
Lookin for random MCs to slay......................
:shocked: :laugh: :cussing: :shoot:

Hey people i need some feedback

I like tha theme of this shit.. but it was simple.. nuttin really stood out that made me say.."that Was hot" na mean.. jus keep at it tho....

-1-

well...I didn't like how you chopped words up to fit them on the next line

this made the flow choppy to me


vocab was nice

you did have nice references

work on flow and rhyming

1

Safe for that people.
I NEED MORE FEEDBACK