Check My First Post!
 

Im a strong man on the outside,
But weak down inside,
When it come to these girls,
Who hurt such a true man with a sincere design,
To toe the line,
With this punishment,
I must b livin a lie,
Never ever will I shy,
Coz I, need ta get back into line,
Get back on this track,
Get this dirt of my shoulders,
Release some weight off my back,
They either want ya 4 ya money,
Or coz u the don in the sack,
I don’t matter if ur white or ya black,
Bitches r bitches,
So let that b that,
Im the fool, im the twat,
All they do is stab the tool in my back,
Whether ur cool or ya wack,
Whether u drool on there crack,
Whether ur cruel or ya attack,
Back against these slack,
Wisecrack bitches,
Who give a relationship nuttin but glitches,
Let see how it switches,
When im making the paper,
And im earning the riches,
You turn to snitches,
Start selling stories to the news,
Which is, trying to bruise
Making me pay some duos,
Taking me out of crews,
But I half way to the top,
An to stop me ur gunna loose,
Soon u better choose,
Whether u respect my name,
Support my game an my fame,
And stop making these issues,
Coz ill change the tin-issues
An you be using tissues,
To wipe up ur mess, when I stress,
An my fist is used,
And ur face is abused,
Leaving u all startled,
And ya brain confused,
And ya gist is dead,
U’ve bin miss led, by the piss head,
I got the kiss of the dragon,
When things shouldn’t be said!

ur structure and vocab need mad woek ok though

defently you really need work on your vocab and you sounded just a lil to soft fam but that shit was koo.......1

its weak, u gotta work on ya vocab and struture, i aint think anybody could write so many bars wit 5 words in each step up a level, i liked it somewhat but hoollaa