*the Hotest Shit Out* (really Needs Feedback!)
 

I wrote this about a year ago..and it's kinda long but if u just take some time to read it and gimme feed back on it. I post this piece on alot of sites cuz im recording a mixtape and this is da only track thats being debated the question is is this piece a "SPOKEN WORD-POEM-OR A RECORDABLE FLOW"--so get back at me it''d be greatly appreciated.

Social distortion is blowing the worlds mind out of proportion/
Rhymin’ cats rub criticism into their bare skin like lotion/
Master manipulators moan screams for the schemes of the paper/
Blood thirsty screams comes from the girl and her raper/
I no longer ponder on the wonder of the meaning of the word “Free”/
No one has won the right to explain that to me logically/
Simply take a look at your local dictionary/
Free speech is pre leaked to free states that second rate/
Free standing freestones prey and on free people like free bate/
I freewheel my free verse till it lurks in my soul like a curse/
I rehearse my words cuz I don’t wanna end up in a hurse cuz some cat wants what’s in my purse/
This is a prophecy of propaganda that’s worse than slander/
Lyrics before was for play this is in a new manner/
Thermo chemistry couldn’t measure my minds story/
The mixture of chemical action and heat can’t beat the rhymes that some emcees seek for a peak of the leaks of blood that flood a lonely jail cell of an innocent man who can’t put up a plan his rights are gone he has no more room to stand/
Please do not reprimand my shameless roller can/
I am my own biggest fan from the sick sights I can’t stand/
Mix the many bars into something from the planet mars/
The only thing I been through is Life and I got battle scars/
I look up to the unilateral universe but my eyes are blind to stars/
A mother can’t feed her feeble daughter but the drug dealer has a 60 thousand dollar car/
Look back at the civil war we still didn’t make it that far/
I rap a piece but I’m still from the streets/
Tappin’ on trashcans and tables just to make beats/
We taste blood and keep fresh shoes on our feets/
Beg freestylers for continues constant repeats/
Curious careful deals are done under sheets/
Got to much precious prelateral pride to squash beef/
Ligaments break off lame pain for my leisure/
Some social soldier is about to have a seizure/
Taken over tiny towns people like he’s Caesar/
The bullets that I shoot don’t have a steady aim/
They rain from my pane and stain the clean frame/
I cry at night not from hurt but from shame/
From the roots of black loot is where I came/
Spokenbluntly is superficial and not something you contend to/
Don’t pay any attention I’m not here to straight out diss you/
I’d rather rattle your brain get under your skin for a few/
This is another lesson don’t bite off more than you can chew/
Don’t talk about shit that you can’t spew/
Don’t tell to many lil white lies it’s gonna stick to you like glue/
I choose to tote guns and where the shade of blue/
I can’t get out of it now but one day my life will be a brighter hue/
No need to go insane from the slain I can’t complain/
If one of my bullets go off and pierces your brain/
Skids through your skin cracks your skeleton and let the blood fall out like rain/
I don’t have time to care and I don’t care if you don’t like me/
I’m full of rancid rage all I can do is smoke a tree/
My lyrical genius is done now it’s time to wipe your blood off my Nikes/
SpokenBluntly

Damn i like all that shit....makes you think....Can you battle also....recently some nice femcees been coming on this site......welcome to rapbattles.

yes i battle pa..thanks for da upps *one*

SB

its pretty good...basicly rhymin...some words i saw i didnt think rhymed...but ok

thanks for da feed yo *STILL UPPIN*

ONE

not bad.better than most the bullshit i read on this site, i think its nice, im a spoken word \fan and thit looks like it could be done both ways..i can pic the flow up pretty well in this, its juss gotta be said a little slower than normal on a mellow beat....juss cant do it fast and it should be juss fine.....

8/10 , work on the wordage juss a little, you had nice vocab, but sum the ways it was worded wasnt good

it was tight, to long but tight ^^^ ya wordage was a lil crazy but u doin ya thang

Thanks for that feed back maybe i could change the wordage so it flows better...yo STILL UPPIN *UNO*

SB

good shit....
 

thats some deep shit there,i used to write a lot of that myself a few years ago so i appreciate the effort that goes into pieces like that.i think you should leave it as it is because with these pieces the rhyming isnt really too important,its more the message that is.and thats a raw message there.props.....peace......

thanks for that feed...lol i kinda needed that...ur opinion is appreciated...*uno*


SB

hmm...i thought long raps wuld be borin but this is accually nice..u got skillz u got my respect...keep doin yo thang boo and dont let kno one get in yo way..

holla at DA BWOI

1's

keep it up boo..if u got any mo raps pm me and ill hit em up

yo..im feeling this site...cuz yall give honest opinions..good and bad and it helps...thanks for da ups pa *uno*

SB