The Mesage - Immediate feedback plz!**!
 

FEEDBACK IMMEDIATLY PLZ
try to say this at a slow pace but but with a beat

i feel like what da hell was i thinking,
got shot by da shotgun, now am sinkin
what can i do, sittin in da hospital
lettin doc search on me - be optical,
i can let all niggas know one thing,
thiers only one life, and one love so they can only be one king
overnight we all crazy wantin a bitch,
must be da crack - everyone on my street takes dat shit,
a thug changes, a love changes
and u know a best friends become strangers
fake niggas try to copy, so they shot me
am alive and they thought they got me
now u know i got a bullet-proof vest
strapped to my chest
tuckin a gun in wasit while i dress,
i feel like am gettin old, my mind gettin cold,
am livin in prison and i dont even get pe-role.
even to my dyin days, while they gettin away,
my memories are beggining to fade.
how long we moan? u left me on my own,
homie u and me should have been together, but now am alone,
all i do is think about death,
fuck all playa's
cause am da last one left!

PLZ FEEDBACK I NEE U GUYS HELP PLZ HELP ME :thumbup:

Plz Some FeedBack Plz I wud Appriciate It :)

shomon??

weak overall i jus wasnt feelin it u need to keep elevatin iight good luck kid..........................

annoy insane he don't kno good posts if it kicked him in the ass, iight.
wasn't the best but look at insanes 1st post and you'll see it was worse!

ok needs work had good flow
work on vocab and structure
pretty good keep droppin