Tonges tied up/ Chemical overdoes- Check it out- FEEDBACK PLZ!!!!As soon as u read
 

Listen to me// Whilst ur tonge is tied up//
ull neva spit ill shit on this rap game//
ur some wakked up rap shit wid a lame name//
Your despensing all ur shit, thinking your gona get fame//
It'll never happen hunni// And im the one to blame//
The only feedback you'll get is shame// Im gna burn u up like a flame//
Im baby gal// da only girl that can fight u off// rip ur head off// and toss it to the crowd// of undispersed followeres like u// ill rip the mic off u// take the life outa u// Ill bitch bout u// ill snitch on u// to get what is rightfully mine// for you to follow my mind// you can read my lines// listen up//Whilst ur tonge is tied// You have already tried.....Ive just started
But da ting is
In ur head ur havin a chemical overdose//
All the words u say are goin over me//
It's all poetry//
Go climb that tree//
Wid da lil kids//
This rapbattle shit aint for lil kids mitts//
Take time back to were it all started//
O shit, I forgot ur already bacwords...ur retarded//
You try and getta guy but u dont cos ur cold hearted//
Your mum and dad have parted//
If youmess wid me ur body and neck will be in the same position//
I dont need to pre-orginisation//
If Iw anted I could please the nation//
Belevie it// Make it hapen//
O fuck it...Ill do some more shite later

Can I have feedback soona s poss please!! Even if u dont like it please holla at me
thnx

it was alright, not bad. could be more complex though with more metaphors

yea im wit logic on this 1 keep elevatin iight baby.............................................. .............

sum iight shyt..
 

best line no doubt was
"O shit, I forgot ur already bacwords...ur retarded//"
lmao nice.. but yo i aint gone tell u to "elevate" cuz i fuckin hate that word... pick up a dictionary peepl.. theres more words like that!!! lmao yea jus keep bumpin da hood shyt n u good wit me...