What have I don to deserve this? [FEEDBACK NEEDED]
 

:gfy: All the neon lights are shining brightly//
I press my head on ur chest..very lightly//
I hear ur heart beating//
Getting flashbacks of our first meeeting//
in the park// In the dark// all alone baby
Tell me why u had to go// And leave me so....y?

[hook]
Leave me on ma own
on the floor stone called in my home
not bein able to even reach the phone
to call u and still say that I care
I wana do anything just to make it fair

Oh Baby, What have I done to deserve this?
It musta been love// Cos I remebered our first kiss//
And that kiss lingers and that I really miss//
I try and get u back but u n ya mates take the piss//
Why does it have to be like this?//
I wana hold u there forever baby//
why why why?
Tell me sumink new not " This is why I dumped u"
Tell me sumink true... Cos u know im true to u//
So please be true to me.....forever baby....please
Cos I need somebody// I wana feel some1 close to me// Tell me baby please...... COs I want u, Want u...............

[Hook]...Till fade :gfy:

could be a straight song, Im not sure how the hook goes. U'd also prabably need a male rapper,or Thug, such as for say, Me, Cannibus, or Chino Xl, to balance it and keep it from ramboling on. U also would have to make the first verse a little longer.all in all, sounds like it could be a good song if u stoped the whinnin' and add one more verse for lentgh and closure.

its a strait song baby....much love keep it comin but yea i would try to pull in a rapper to top it off with a guy part

kk thanks babe

Shit was str8 baby...keep it up..

hehe, thanks hun

shit dis thang was old neways
uppin ..........