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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Behind The Clouds (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=126192)

Eclapt 05-23-04 09:12 PM

Behind The Clouds
 
Grey Mist Of Thick Air
Cluttered Over My Face
Showing That No One Will Care
If I Ever Leave This place
For I Can't See Love Or Passion
A Road To Lead Into Arms
To Hold Me Showing Me Satisfaction
Of Lifes Gifts & Remote Charms
The Clouds Sometimes Damp
Getting Pieces Into My Throat
Try To Breath, I Hesitate, For I Can't
I'd Pray To God But To Speak I Choke
Wondering If Ever I Should Dream
Romance About Life & It's Wealth
Cloud Is Thick You Can't Hear Me Scream
Help, Me Find Away To Save Myself
Just A Nobody In Your Croud
Lost, Forgotton &, Unheard
Behind The Grey Cloud
Unworthy Of Giving Birth To My Word..

Eclapt 05-25-04 10:15 PM

this is a short ass poem and 3 views...the fuck

MoTiF 05-25-04 10:18 PM

Hmm need to make it Longer.

Snapshot 05-26-04 08:09 AM

Could Use Some Better Vocab Too.

Eclapt 05-27-04 07:56 AM

^^Two shittiest replies ever

MisFouND P. 05-27-04 02:07 PM

i t was not that bad of a poem, if they have nothing good to say dun fuckin listen to em. ne way, u could of made it longer though. I thought it was a good topic to write about. I never really saw a relation of the title to the words of the poem. What i seen was your emtions mixed with clouds, an i don't think thats the point you were trying to get across. Other than that this was good, stayy thaa fuckk upp...

Eclapt 05-29-04 08:54 PM

thanks for the good reply...stay up


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