The Night Poppa Died(Uncompleted)
 

This is only a small part of this uncompleted rap.Im working on finishing it but i was just wondering what people think so far?This is a very personl song to me so anybody with feedback can they post not only the bad points but the good aswell thanks peace out.

the night poppa died i didnt cry i just asked god why?//
In the night i contemplated sucide,i begged for the lord to take me//
But in my heart i knew poppa deserved every bullet he took//
no love from my mamma cuz she was a crack fein//
16 years old out there all alone,learned how to get high//
And pull drives,hung with the homies couldn't trust my nine//
I prayed for someone to wake me cuz i was having crazy dreams//
cuz i was born in the ghetto as a hussler a straight soilder//
Barking at the busta's we dont die we just mulitaplie//
Walking like a motherfucker living like i wanna//
It aint no stopping at the red lights im sideways//
cuz fuck it i learned crime pays left the cops with there lights on//

uppin for feedback

nah io wasnt feelin it at all u need to work on ya wordplay anf flow and ur rhymes big time iight keep elevatin...........