RB uncensored
 

so i'm in the club right
and i'm looking thug like
when this female step up like "i'm you future wife"
man she came so unproper
but blood i couldn't stop her
she unzipped them pants, on everything, she quickly dropped them
i'm like slow it down i'm here to give you pleasure
i got more inches in these britches than a tape measure
and while i hit hard she screamin how she likes it
cause i'm so gentle on the street but in the room i'm a vikin
damn i forgot the trojans so tell me who has em
and once i put it on i'm going to give you orgasms
i'll do nice and smooth hard and ruff what can you handle
i'm just a razzle-dazzle pussy bangin pimp from Atlanta
I fuck her once, i fuck twice, then it's poof and be gone
cause in the sheets i make magic like houdini and wands :sex:

elevation keep droppin

I really like how you were making visual images with you words and that's a great start. On that note you need to work on your flow a little and expanding your creativity and vocab. This comes with time and even tho I didnt really like this piece I still thinkif you work at it youll become real good.



^^^^ Your best line

it wasn't meant to be good it was just some shit i wrote when i was bored. :noob: :laugh:

it was cool at 1st but u lost me during ur transition but u need 2 elevate & work on it a lil mo u'll get betta

Kiid Gots Potential.. Evelate Some..!!!