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V.I.P.. 06-14-04 06:58 PM

keystyle
 
my rhymes come off tha top of my head/
leave u rollin in pain ontop of your bed/
5 shot's rip through your chest now u full of led/
cause i'm a solgier and a solgier never dies/
tha pain can be unbareabal but he never cries/
a solgeir never dies he is forever alive/
all these people care about is cash money hoes/
not knowin tha intelligence he provides when he flows/
i'm speakin to everyone in different sections and rows/
take tha time to listen to wat goes on in my mind/
i flow to a different rhymes all whole other kind/
u can look and dig but my flow u will never find/
15 in this world left by my self to fuckin roam/
run from my troubles now i'm by my self all alone/
hobo ask me for a dollar i didnt have a dollar to loan/
this is a fuckin keystyle it aint even written/
but like bullets hit chest's u gonna feel tha shit i'm spiten/
but once again it's just me by my self sittin/
age 13 need some money so i steped on tha drug scene/
i now yall say thats completly horrible it's obscene/
now i get money look at my wrists they gleam/
people wanna see me dead that's wat it seem/
lord tell me what was my purpose on earth/
cause my life been fucked since my birth/
in tha streets my fuckin death lerks/
put food on tha table that's supplied by drugs/
put bodies on tha ground thats supplied by slugs/
25 to life cause his blood was spread all on my rug/
fuck it my life is over i'm goin to fuckin hell/
wit that 44 it's over refferee ring tha bell/
i'll be dead anywayz if these drugs i dont sell/
belive me ive tried to go fuckin strait/
but these drugs bring money and thats great/
before this i didnt have a pee on my plate/


not alot of multis :thefinger

V.I.P.. 06-14-04 07:46 PM

uppin for some feedback

xXVeNoMXx 06-14-04 09:20 PM

yea that was koo i like most of ya punches but i think it needed more vocab ~1~

L.E 06-14-04 10:47 PM

That was pretty nice shit dawg.....werk on some shit like line length, structure, flow, and ryhme scheme you will have this shit...nice werk.

V.I.P.. 06-14-04 10:58 PM

thankz man uppin

MaCLuNiTiC 06-15-04 02:16 PM

it was all alrite, just u gotta work on that vocab, forreal, its a lil weak but other than that it was good. peace.


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