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-   -   Quit the circus (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=131349)

DQ 06-24-04 04:58 AM

Quit the circus
 
Gonna speak up so you'd better pay some attention
I hate you cuz i'm brought into another dimension
My mind can't grasp the reason why i was so naieve
Couldn't see trough the masquerade what you had up your sleeve
You say you can't leave me but your love is a bird without wings
You say you're speechless but your love is a choir where no one sings
Why are you acting so phlegmatic?You just don't seem to care
I need an explination! Why are you having an affair?
Quit the circus,i know what you're doing behind my back
You have been creepin around worse than Redattack
Would you plz shut your mouth? Don't dare calling me a bitch
You can only impress those hoes by saying you're rich
They should get their eyes checked cuz they can't see it's all fake
If they have them glasses on, they'll know you're a phoney snake
You might fool those ugly fat ass chicks but i'm smarter
If you want me,stop playing tricks,gotta work harder
You'd be frontin,actin like you're a superstar
But you know what? You aren't! Isn't that bizarre?
The show is over: don't act a clown,don't let me cry
Drop tha mask,let the curtain down,tell me: who am i?
Your performance leaves a path of destruction behind
No excuses,no remorse, no time to rewind

SixX da FinisH 06-24-04 08:13 AM

17 Posts!?!?
 
ayo u only got 17 posts n u droppin shyt like dis?! hot shyt for real tho grl... yea ya shyt was to the point, had a message n u showed it.. i cant believe u new in it n droppn dis shyt yo...ill... seriously ill... vocab was nice, flow, peresonal, everythin. u kno wat... u should try owt for NDOT. write me a verse n send it to me if u want in a pm. then we'll see if ur first femcee/ who got found by tha OG who could flo jus like me//
haha holla atcha boi
~1~

DQ 06-24-04 12:40 PM

some more feedback plz, i'll return tha favor!

Maki 06-24-04 12:46 PM

wassup miss-jess, yah styles hot for real that was hot shit.
keep it goin gurl.
peace

Cocaine 06-24-04 01:55 PM

yo miss jess that shit is HOTTTT... keep working hard... you will become a superstar on here... sweet shit

DQ 06-25-04 05:23 AM

Thx for tha feedback guys,i appreciate it!

Poppa Kap 06-25-04 10:28 AM

This was pretty good and it had sort of a comical feel with these lines...

"You might fool those ugly fat ass chicks but i'm smarter
If you want me,stop playing tricks,gotta work harder"

flow was good...on point. Vocab was nice, the only thing I could suggest to make this piece better would be to either do more internal rhymes or more multies.

Good work

DQ 06-26-04 08:16 AM

Thx, still gotta work on my multis to make my stuff more complex i know...

MADDRAPPER 06-26-04 12:56 PM

THIS IS NICE GIRL WELL LET ME DROP THIS RIGHT HERE

miss jess you twist stress with a legit pupose in quit the circus your verse clusters are large and make buster dodge got hustler camousflage in the garage. come to verses you're great winner treating you to a steak dinner straight enter the golden coral, you're not a phony female I love your yaki pony tail. so let me shine my lex girl you fine and vexed, not gonna tell her my mind's on sex

PoTeNtIaL 06-26-04 01:20 PM

good piece, good emotion...nyce flow...could tell you wuz feelin it too...which made me lyke it more...good job...

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=131637

^^feedback on this please

MrChu 06-26-04 01:57 PM

You say you're speechless but your love is a choir where no one sings

^ Love it. Quality stuff, like the use of the questions in verses, to compliment the rhyming scheme, emphasies you got the whole "i'm so pissed off you got alot to answer for" type feeling....good shit.

DQ 06-26-04 02:14 PM

Thx again for all the feedback, means a lot 2 me

DQ 06-28-04 03:13 PM

uppin^^

raw killa 07-21-04 02:41 PM

i liked it flow was nice n oh ur battle dats closed dat u had wit mc riot u totally killed her i mean she basically re-worded n repeated wut u said...lmmao keep droppin yo shit peace shortie 1 luv

2HarD2LoSe 07-21-04 04:37 PM

ya u got skillz bro try hard and ull make it on rb.com


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