![]() |
Quit the circus
Gonna speak up so you'd better pay some attention I hate you cuz i'm brought into another dimension My mind can't grasp the reason why i was so naieve Couldn't see trough the masquerade what you had up your sleeve You say you can't leave me but your love is a bird without wings You say you're speechless but your love is a choir where no one sings Why are you acting so phlegmatic?You just don't seem to care I need an explination! Why are you having an affair? Quit the circus,i know what you're doing behind my back You have been creepin around worse than Redattack Would you plz shut your mouth? Don't dare calling me a bitch You can only impress those hoes by saying you're rich They should get their eyes checked cuz they can't see it's all fake If they have them glasses on, they'll know you're a phoney snake You might fool those ugly fat ass chicks but i'm smarter If you want me,stop playing tricks,gotta work harder You'd be frontin,actin like you're a superstar But you know what? You aren't! Isn't that bizarre? The show is over: don't act a clown,don't let me cry Drop tha mask,let the curtain down,tell me: who am i? Your performance leaves a path of destruction behind No excuses,no remorse, no time to rewind |
17 Posts!?!?
ayo u only got 17 posts n u droppin shyt like dis?! hot shyt for real tho grl... yea ya shyt was to the point, had a message n u showed it.. i cant believe u new in it n droppn dis shyt yo...ill... seriously ill... vocab was nice, flow, peresonal, everythin. u kno wat... u should try owt for NDOT. write me a verse n send it to me if u want in a pm. then we'll see if ur first femcee/ who got found by tha OG who could flo jus like me//
haha holla atcha boi ~1~ |
some more feedback plz, i'll return tha favor!
|
wassup miss-jess, yah styles hot for real that was hot shit.
keep it goin gurl. peace |
yo miss jess that shit is HOTTTT... keep working hard... you will become a superstar on here... sweet shit
|
Thx for tha feedback guys,i appreciate it!
|
This was pretty good and it had sort of a comical feel with these lines...
"You might fool those ugly fat ass chicks but i'm smarter If you want me,stop playing tricks,gotta work harder" flow was good...on point. Vocab was nice, the only thing I could suggest to make this piece better would be to either do more internal rhymes or more multies. Good work |
Thx, still gotta work on my multis to make my stuff more complex i know...
|
THIS IS NICE GIRL WELL LET ME DROP THIS RIGHT HERE
miss jess you twist stress with a legit pupose in quit the circus your verse clusters are large and make buster dodge got hustler camousflage in the garage. come to verses you're great winner treating you to a steak dinner straight enter the golden coral, you're not a phony female I love your yaki pony tail. so let me shine my lex girl you fine and vexed, not gonna tell her my mind's on sex |
good piece, good emotion...nyce flow...could tell you wuz feelin it too...which made me lyke it more...good job...
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=131637 ^^feedback on this please |
You say you're speechless but your love is a choir where no one sings
^ Love it. Quality stuff, like the use of the questions in verses, to compliment the rhyming scheme, emphasies you got the whole "i'm so pissed off you got alot to answer for" type feeling....good shit. |
Thx again for all the feedback, means a lot 2 me
|
uppin^^
|
i liked it flow was nice n oh ur battle dats closed dat u had wit mc riot u totally killed her i mean she basically re-worded n repeated wut u said...lmmao keep droppin yo shit peace shortie 1 luv
|
ya u got skillz bro try hard and ull make it on rb.com
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:28 PM. |