(topical) DON <VS> G-Ballz (topical)
 

aight topical battle
20-30 lines
no cheating
normal house rules
topic:hero of september 11
verses due by 12 10 am eastern time which is an hour away aight good luck pc

rollin to work...stopped in to rudys buy me some coffee...
a bang...loud crash this confusion had lost me...
suddenly a women had her hands...pointed up to the sky...
i peeped out the window...fallin people tryin to fly...
was this a joke...that plane did not jus hit that building...
i sprinted to the plaza...where i saw a corpse collapsed into a lil thing...
blood was splattered about the outline of this women...
brains entrailed cross the pavement like ketchup and puddin...
a sick site at first but then the surge of adrenaline hit...
dropped the cappachino "this cant be real o holy shit"...
then more outcries raged through the crowds median...
as men in masks started rushin in...
wasnt thinkin and certainly didnt wana be a hero...
entered the glass door looked up red sign "floor zero"...
witnessed some steps up to my right...
it was like a sale at a toy store...cause everyone jus began to fight...
so me and this guy we rushed up to floor eleven...
found a wheelchaired man holdin on to a boy musta been bout maybe 7...
so this guy helped them down the stairs and i continued movin...
looked straight ahead out the window and saw another fallin human...
i rushed up maybe 30 floors cause i wasnt counting...
i mean i couldnt even see the screams curses and all the shouting...
stop quick grabbed the railing i heard a second noise of thunder...
as i felt the ground shake like my world fell under...
o shit wat was that cause flisht number 2 had already crashed...
a loud crash then darkness the last of the lights had flashed...
power was out and a freight train sound moved a little closer...
i looke dup to floor 80 and my head span around like a climaxed coaster...
the building swayed a crash sounded above me as the building got shifty...
and the next thing i felt were the angles as they began to lift me...

huh....when I agree to this I'm canadian this is gonna be hard then....

o haah i didnt kno u were canadian it dont matter then write about 9/11 or any kinda disaster where a lot of ppl died

but it was all over the news u kno jus as much about it as me and if u can rap u should be able to do it about anything and canadians kno a lot about 9/11 it was on their channels all day too my one friend was from canada

went the New York City one day while visiting a relative for a while~
came to support her in a case for murder in front of the judge in a trial~
walking to the court room and look at a building and a plane came towards it~
I ran to the building too many lives to take away we couldn't afford it~
so I went to door people screaming in terror and tremendous fear~
women were stuck under collapsing floors so I risked my life to get em away~
because this type of shit like this doesn't every single fuckin' day~
after that I went to the floor it hit running fast my lungs collapsing~
I got there and I see terrorists it striked me fear I keep on relasping~
he be yelling out in some language I couldn't clearly make-out~
looked like he was about to shoot a innocent person so I tried to take him out~
he didn't see me so I tackled him gun dropped outta his hand~
out of nowhere 3 other terrorists come and to me they try to command~
I wouldn't listen & couldn't understand they jibberish language~
but I could read his mind he was thinkin' of doing some carnage~
a woman was staring in my eyes a gun she has in her grasp~
I told her to run! but she wouldn't let go of the gun still in her grasp~
she pulled the trigger trying to save my life at the cost of her own~
a terrorist shot her dead went through her sternum bone~
but of of them hard their guard down so I decided to attack~
still more people in the room so they should run I got their back~
so I grabbed the gun but he was too quick to fuckin' retaliate~
another one shot me in the chest but I guess it was just fate~
I fell on the ground looking around the room and no one else there~
thats the good part of dying if you safed lives death didn't give me a scare~
all of a sudden the entire building collapsed and the terrorists retreated~
one of them took they mask off had a smirk fuckin' conceited~
the building quickly fell down but I was happy with the way I died~
before I became deceased I was smiling and I actually cried~

my version^^^ changed a lil and I rarely watch the news but I knew
9/11 was a plane crashing into the world trade center at least....

aight not bad for putin ur own twist on it lets get some votes

uppin.............................................

uppin.............................................

uppin peeps & leave links............................................. ...............

i dont really like topic battles...its pretty easy for topics to be made...but anyways here i go:

DON: u had good verbal vocabulary...i didnt really like your opener it was kinna simple and everything..ur metaphors was good though i like that in topical battles even though i hate um lol...

C-Ballz: i like ur story a little more..its a little more creative and descriptive but i didnt like your metaphors as much as Don...thats why I gave you a big minus on the topic battle..

Vote- Don

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please hit up my current battle..we need votes....is a good battle 1
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=132752

ok Orijinal I'll vote on that battle you obviously won it.......QB's gonna
think its a hate vote like always tho! :thumbup:

yo don u my 4 sho but i can't vote ri now, as soon as i get 20 post i'll vote 4 u iigh?

yo don u my 4 sho but i can't vote ri now, as soon as i get 20 post i'll vote 4 u iigh? and i have another battle 2 vote 4 so plz vote

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

This was a good battl.e But I thought Don was more complex.

Vote: DON

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.