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A Love Story
A Love Story A real life story retold in rhyme by Brian Amaya True love dripped from the eyes of rosie and ryan He proposed....she stayed chocked up and cryin' She replied yes to the adoring man that she loved This had been the day that they both dreamed of They left the school teary eyed and gleaming pride Sixteen years old, rosie became a beaming bride Ryan was to be the most loving and caring husband A more beautiful of a couple than even love dreamt Their story could've been right out of the fairy tales But that's part that of the story anyone barely tells Two weeks later, september twentieth to be exact Ryan told rosie to stay in the car and he'd be back He calmly went to the store to get a pack of smokes Rosie stayed with the windows and the locks closed Ryan went to snatch up his favorite type of candy bar Rosie noticed a man coming closer to her standing car He waited long, for that day the line was a small crowd The man pulled a gun and told her to get the fuck out Ryan told the man at the counter his smoking choice She tried to scream but no one heard her choking voice Ryan walked back to the parking lot and the small car She wasn't there but surely she couldn't have gone far After ten minutes of calling her, he became hysterical The thought of her missing was completely unbareable He started calling everybody he knew asking for rosie No one had seen her that day, he began feeling lonely He screamed her distant name with tears in his eyes That poor man cried calling for the presence of his bride He called the police knowing that they wouldn't find her The only thing that stayed was her picture as his reminder He remained at that parking lot for fourteen hours straight Alone, he only empowered his thoughts to shower blame If he only stopped smoking, if he only hurried a bit more The only's began tearing until his heart was a ripped core No one would ever again see poor rosie or hear ryan speak For ryan would just sleep, thinking of rosie in his dreams And when he woke up he would stare at the picture of her Then he smiled at the thought of how much he loved her . This story might seem made up and to some, even unclear But 25 thousand people go missing without a trace, each year |
Uppin Muffin.
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uPPity Up.
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Up.
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Up.
Up. And away! |
1 comment - last phrase you say "The only's" I think you mean the "only if's" but just thought I'd comment. Other than that im no scholar, but from an listeners perspective this was nice. Although you did forshadow the dissapearance early in the first phrase. (Ryan WAS to be) Rhyme scheme and structure was on point, and it was easy to read through. Good lookin.
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it was ok you need better vocab and it seems like a young kids poem cuz love gots way bigger words and is way more complacated.it was a good poem though nice job :thumbup: just elevate a little more and you perfect
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