Topical League Verse: "Family Problems"
 

short but ahem..

Through the hazy clouds of doubt sprouts a positive thought
not of problems as they are..but of answers as their brought
I've caught onto reality and family problems branch free
w/ each placed accordingly to break the already unstable tree
and as all this crumbled i'll tell you this happily.....

Dads been freed...the age of 40 broke his stance on life
he lost the fight....while mom shakes to carve his intials w/ a knife
Sis thinks the world is hype....as her boyfriend knocks her friend up
while her trust roughs the edges of takin more or havin enough
Brothers in cuffs...everyday was a undisciplined slap on the wrist
and all of this was made possible because dad no longer exist
Grandmas' fists are red..beatin the answer outta gods aura
while grandpa lays dead....eyes piercing the very floor of
What he made and built with his sweat,tears, and blood
which sums up what this families been through barely surfacing mud
As I stand and watch all these problems this family copes with
I'm glad i'm not apart of it..i'm just a cop watchin them on shift...

short but good rhyme had me laugh at da end though
"As I stand and watch all these problems this family copes with
I'm glad i'm not apart of it..i'm just a cop watchin them on shift..."
keep droppin yo u got sum nice skill holla back n peep me out 1

The end had a nice little twist to it ...made the peice even better flow was aight im used to reading flows with double multie standard rhymes in it but it was nice and the topic was nice... Did you even win the Topical League battle for this topic??

you already know i think this is hot! the flow was good and the imagery was damn nice... love that last line as well.

check out my song "secret annals" when u got the time bro

dude recycled a verse and got dq'd ;\

ill flow. nice how included each member and the troubles involved. your last line at the bottom was the illest line there. good descriptive skills and pattern, could tell mad passion behind the rhymes. thought that it was obvious some lines took more time to write than others but overall it was well written.

uppin one more time...just alittle more feedback..

Yo nice drop cuz.Keep doin yo thang cuz .