|
Dead Beliefs
April 5,1968
Location: Gates of Heaven Dead Beliefs Intro Love of leadership is forced out by abbusive peers... All that i believed in is now only expressed through tears... Hard work usually pays off yet it was intruded by satan... Goals were set and almost acheived, then my life had been taken... For the first time ever.. my faith was sadly neglected... As it all faded slowly.. I look back and dissect it... January 15, 1929 to April 4,1968 Location: Heart of the Doctor Dead Beliefs My desire was strong and my pride would take me places... From day one of protesting thoughts.. i left speechless faces... I was told i was gifted and was convinced when it sparked... No more slavery burdens.. blacks were making their mark... The rally steadily progressed and i gained many supporters... The whole community got involved.. then came TV reporters... Presidents attention was caught.. the mission was approaching closure... Made appearences everywhere.. the whole nation had exposure... The congress was passing bill left and right<-- as we gained them... All was too well.. and it seemed inevitable to be condemned... To have the complexity of emotions.. and it slip out of my mind... Yet it all remained on the tip of my toungue.. as i ran out of time... Accomplishments remain but i couldnt finish what i had to say... Words of wisdom are now dead beliefs thanks to James Earl Ray... L.I. |
i think dat shit was tight i liked how you stayed on topic and u had a nice structure and decent imagery the only thing was there werent any multi's but over all i think u did a nice job on da piece keep up the goodwork and dont forget to return the favor drop some feed in my thread called life is unfair
1 |
tight flow real talk i like dat in flows 9/10 coulda been longa but u got ur point across n stayed on topic keep postin holla back peace out 1 luv
|
cool...up
|
great topic and flow. i like the style it was written, very smooth. well put and i like how you subtley added the james earl ray because 80 percent of the people who read it probally don't even know who that piece of shit is.
|
Very very nice piece I liked the intro and the theme of this song/
This song look like there was anngher and fire in it/ Juss kept buildin up, good scheme though/ Good imagery and words ,man/ Next time use some multis will help out the flow a little bit/ and the endind was kinda dull, i think you shoulda posted a couple more bars/ Cause when you read it, you can feel sumthin risin, then when you get to the end/ It juss goes bye bye, but still a good piece man 8.5/ 10/ keep elevatin yourself/ |
Quote:
k i will try to elevate a lot ;)...up |
yo..up
|
Umm... Hate to make myself look stupid... But... Who is James Earl Ray? Tell me that and i will give you feedback... Because right now i dont understand the shit...
|
James Earl Ray is the guy who assassinated Matrin Luther King Jr
|
Aight... Now that i know...
Tight verse... Flowed good, i see what you mean with the syllables... Lots of emotion... Had an unusual flow, but tight as fuck... 9/10 |
word.
|
shit was ILL......and I thought the closing bar.....closed it off perfectly........
|
up...
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:39 PM. |