Goin' Crazy *Sneak Preview of my first song*
 

My life's been steadily gettin worse for four years
I've faced my worst fears, shed my share of tears
Lost a close friend to a crazy, deranged father
Failed at everything i've ever attempted, so why bother
Everyone I've ever known has caused me some kind of pain
Because of all you motha fuckers, my sanitys been slain

Goin' crazy, fire blazin in my eyes, all my brain cells have been fried
It's amazing how all these thoughts in my brain surge through my veins
It's fuckin drivin me insane and all of you sadistic bitches are to blame

*That's all i've got done right now...give me some feedback with a little touch of criticism, thanks ya*

Bumpin, come on give me feedback god damnit.......

bumpin, someone give me feedback damnit! Thanks...

bumpin...will someone please give me some god damn feedback..christ

ok.

i liked the first verse ...........it was heart felt,nice flow with a gud structure,
sounds like a decent song so far.

oh..i dnt think the top line below rhymes with anythin?...
the bottom 2 seem to be the rhymin lines.

hmmm.i like it.
i wud suggest uppin the vocab..wit sum more complex wording if poss.
but overall its lookin gud...

nice spit

Goin' crazy, fire blazin in my eyes, all my brain cells have been fried
It's amazing how all these thoughts in my brain surge through my veins
It's fuckin drivin me insane and all of you sadistic bitches are to blame

Bumpin, lets get some feedback, ill return the favor on your open mic or vote on a battle, thanks

structure was off and use betta vocab

Structure was off? The first 4 lines was close...the other 3 was close, thats how it was meant to be, dumbass

yo jus,srry took so long for feedback bro..i liked it..felt what ya were sayin,it could've been a lil more complex..since the issue was serious and all..overall koo drop..keep it up dawg..don't sweat the haters...
maybe you could hit this up 4 mehttp://community.rapverse.com/showbattlethread.php?t=139794
flex battle
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139167
topical:200 posts

i felt ya on da drop u did good fuck virtue bitch ass dat wigga always tlkn shit bout peeps shit keep doin ya thing peep my new callabo wit emerginmc07 on here holla back peace out 1 luv

first song and it sucks doesnt feel good huh