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ATMOSPHERE vs phatinum
Battle Rules:
UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 3-0 is ko spit due tomorrow before 3 pm my time...dats west coast cali time topic: tomorrows News Minimum posts to vote: 100 Check in by: 08-02-04 at 12:28 AM Must drop verse in 4399 minutes after check in. |
ATMOSPHERE has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-01-04 10:29 PM.
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phatinum has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-01-04 10:29 PM.
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nigga im a pump the red fuse like 2morws news
u betta move you in the spot light feet 2 big in my shoes get ready to lose ill beat you black and blue my lyrics due ill spit till you burnt in a barbeque like a pig on a stick this world is spinnin backwords and you is so thick america wanted to clone 2pac and hoes still sucking dick im on sky news going thrw the channels dont no wat 2 choose i c after this battle is this nigga getting boo's and i say it true preached my word bout the world blood circulation gettin cold peace out nigga we need 2 stick close to this world 4 ya head rips its skull half dead take ya last look its time 4 death |
yo drop ya verse den or did ya choke com on den nigga
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I come in the house after joggin, sit down to take mah breathe... Then i took a shower, feel tired, N then layed down jst too rest... Then all in a sudden im in a store, doin a armed roberry... N Next thing I know Im sneakin into a large property... Hopin dis was a dream, thinkin did i only fall asleep?... But it feels like i got shot, cuz i could see that i bleed?... Cops behind mah back, limpin tryin ta hide hear'n dem siren sounds... but im already found, hear'n em footsteps from all around... Shyt, now they sorround, I jst don't know wut to do, so confused... Im on mah knees prayin, plz let dis be a dream cuz i fell so abused... Then I look up, n i see a vent, thinkin it leads a way out... I jst need n have to much hope, know'n i'll escape wit no doubt... Damn am i lucky, cuz at the top i could see the moon so bright... It lead to the roof, but im still follewed by a blue spot light... I kept runnin, but i could see the snipers infared reds on me... Then wen i jump of the buildin, i was lucky that only one sniper shot me... i wake up the same night, but newspaper sed i was dead n it sed... I was shot while jumpin into a river, none knows where i was lead... So, i guess im free for now, imma be jst like one of da few... Its gonna say im dead on channel two on tomorrows news... |
damn dawg...if I knew u sucked dis much..i never woulda went hard on ya
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Voted For: ATMOSPHERE
ok this is obvious..atmosphere your story line was koo there was only one line i did'nt like"abused"it jus dint sit well with me in the whole scheme of the topical..ok good job.. phatinum..seriously dawg what are you doin this was a topical...your supposed ta write a meaningfull story not incorporate the topic into a battle..ok i don't wanna see any more battle from you ..aight...go read the tutorials your losses are gonna be higher than your post count... you are gettin better with your structure n format,,thats koo,but you still gotta develop alot of your text style... |
Voted For: ATMOSPHERE
i was feelin this a lil more then the other guys because it had more explanation and flow too it |
This was feedback posted for ATMOSPHERE
^ very sensual and abstract but concrete at the same time.. i was feelin' the topic but drawn into ur use of words and nice structure...
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uppin dis
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Voted For: ATMOSPHERE
ATMOSPHERE'S WAS MORE DESCRIPTIVE.. BETTER WORDPLAY IN IT, AND I CAN GET INTO IT MORE.. TYPING YOUR WORDS OUT NEATLY HELPS TOO.. BUT HIS WAS LONGER ALSO, AND THE RHYMES WERE BETTER.. ALSO, I COULD IMAGINE MORE WITH HIS VERSE.. PHATINUM, YOU CAN WORK ON YOUR VOCAB, AND YOUR DICTION.. IT WA OKAY THO.. VOTE GOEAS TO ATMOSPHERE.. RETURN FAVOR WIT HONEST VOTE IN MY BATTLE WILL U? THANX.. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=138974 |
Voted For: ATMOSPHERE
ima have to give this to Atmosphere bcuz his was deeper and the lines were alot better n its was makin more sense. Pretty much it was more thorough holla at me |
jst one more vote ppl
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Voted For: ATMOSPHERE
I come in the house after joggin, sit down to take mah breathe... Then i took a shower, feel tired, N then layed down jst too rest... 6/10 Then all in a sudden im in a store, doin a armed roberry... N Next thing I know Im sneakin into a large property... 6/10 Hopin dis was a dream, thinkin did i only fall asleep?... But it feels like i got shot, cuz i could see that i bleed?... 6/10 Cops behind mah back, limpin tryin ta hide hear'n dem siren sounds... but im already found, hear'n em footsteps from all around... 6/10 Shyt, now they sorround, I jst don't know wut to do, so confused... Im on mah knees prayin, plz let dis be a dream cuz i fell so abused... 6/10 Then I look up, n i see a vent, thinkin it leads a way out... I jst need n have to much hope, know'n i'll escape wit no doubt... 6/10 Damn am i lucky, cuz at the top i could see the moon so bright... It lead to the roof, but im still follewed by a blue spot light... 6/10 I kept runnin, but i could see the snipers infared reds on me... Then wen i jump of the buildin, i was lucky that only one sniper shot me... 7/10 i wake up the same night, but newspaper sed i was dead n it sed... I was shot while jumpin into a river, none knows where i was lead... 5.10 So, i guess im free for now, imma be jst like one of da few... Its gonna say im dead on channel two on tomorrows news... 6/10 nigga im a pump the red fuse like 2morws news u betta move you in the spot light feet 2 big in my shoes 6/10 get ready to lose ill beat you black and blue my lyrics due ill spit till you burnt in a barbeque like a pig on a stick 5/10 this world is spinnin backwords and you is so thick america wanted to clone 2pac and hoes still sucking dick 4/10 im on sky news going thrw the channels dont no wat 2 choose i c after this battle is this nigga getting boo's and i say it true 5/10 preached my word bout the world blood circulation gettin cold peace out nigga we need 2 stick close to this world 4 ya head rips its skull half dead take ya last look its time 4 death 5/10 ok both of your punches were boring and played so it came down 2 better wordplay |
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