YO! check this out
 

YO on the curb spraying adverbs, pronouns, conjunctions, Interjections, adjectives, prepositions, and nouns no repetition
I’m artistic sadistic ballistic you can tell but who gives a hell
My rhymes is intense and immense its special got good
Grammar it’s a slammer I emphasize and visualize ain’t
Possessive or obsessive nouns plural too much antecedents
Dome full of pronouns subjective objective I’m learning
I’m bout it the infinitives are affirmative I’m active wordplay is
Massive and passive sounds good like I’m scratching, flaying,
Flexing to many ands, sos, commas makes me lunch breaking
Like CRUNCH the pauses, sentences, clauses, fragments,
The phrases I’m greeting meeting expatiations AT is my
Abbreviation MC is my occupation mouth neva closing
Neva posing my style is mellow it meditates indicates I’m
New improved my FRREESTYLES is food its vittle
ViETnamETakEouT is my title I’m a legendary idol
People hate my grip neva caught in the brackets
Own a FUBU JACKET making dashes flashes of rice
Cold like DENTYNE ICE acting hyper in the cipher
I’m foreign AUTHENTIC ETHNIC mixed up with hypens
And slashes got old rashes its underline italic material
Eating COCA PUFFS CEREAL my spits are imperial
On the bottom like an asterisks speeding like a bullet
Jetting and getting the craft feel the draft on a ill basis
I’m a pair of jeans I’m loose an oasis of parts of speech
The government is a leech it sucks all of the money
It ain’t funny its souring devouring our nation
But noone cares so just brushing like Oral B moral
Values in a clench laying in the trench it’s a clinch
Tight like a pinch don’t flinch hiting the mic slashing
Ripping ain’t tripping gimme bread stomach full
No dull punchlines room is odd powerful as God
iPod styling my HAT joneing owing the stage
Breaking to my own world spraying got the juice
A boost like GATORADE bitch I’m a renegade
I got the skill and I kill while the calling hogs
I’m balling dogs yapping so I start rapping
Before you floss get the cross remember I’m the boss
So sick and brick and kick back I’m creative
Spiting my accepelas this is GOODFELLAS its cheddar
Like mozzarella I’m cooking wit gas hooking wit mass
Bitch betta knuckle up buckle up lamping my leg cramping

Damn bro, this is some complex shit. I like your use of vocabulary, and you had some pretty good punches. But you might wanna dumb it down a little bit if you want more attention for it, 'cuz you know not everybody's down with the real intellectual shit.

Thanx for the feedback man yeah I was trying to use some
different vocab cuz lot of people were saying my rhymes were a lil basic so just trying to get better vocab


Peace

lotta people on dis site dont like verses like urs cuz they cant pronounce wut u sayin but fuck it write how u wanna da real vocabulary shit is wut it bout not simple kindergarden garbage keep doin ya thing homie u had a tight rhyme rite there
8/10 holla back check my crews post troubled minds unda ruff tuff thug's name in here peep it n leave ur opinion peace out n return da favor

Wow,,haha You Crammed Alot Of Vocab In There...it Was Good...id Give It About A 7/10..keep Droppin ....

very very very very good flow amazing i duno wtf u were rhymin about but jus the flow was perfect and vocab good
10/10

Hey thanks for the feedback guys I appreciate it
Thanks for the opinions

Pc