my first real topical
 

TOPICAL…FAMILY

INTRO:SENARIO


Ring””ring””I can’t accept your apology
Im sorry mommy your dead to me
Daddy why don’t we talk to grandma…..?
You really wanna kno??
Ya..
Ok sit down im gonna tell you a story when I was young I said:


Im leaving this situation, its much more feasible than staying,
I know im your creation, but your rules aren’t reasonable for obeying,
I think the alcoholic drink has ruined your motherly maternal instincts,
You only thank me when holding your hair from the pueck in the sink,
It’s a bitter taste, without mama’s love I feel unwanted and out of place,
These are just extra wounds for a man who’s never seen his fathers face,

So grandma was bad??? Well yes honey just a drunk n depressingly sad!

My mama freebased money so I could have a high school tuition,
From my stepfathers home he’s quick to always hand me an eviction,
Or a punch 2 the head and face, I continuesly fled to find a quiet place,
I swore he was’nt anything, but you said he meant more to you then I did,
As I cried, I hope you die kid was what I viewed through my busted eyelids,
I was at war with who was supposed to be my life bringer,the ultimate giver,
The all knower, my nourisher and most of all my aspiration encourager,

So understand ’little 1”my life was sad without a moma that did’nt nerture,
I met you 5 years ago, so im letting you know what it is to torture,
Your smile capitivated my soul that was tattered and miserable,
I knew I could change our lives for the future if I was honourable,
I was young but I knew that I wanted to raise you as my own,
Cause I never wanted your precious little heart to feel alone,
And although there is no biological tie between use that binds,
There ain’t no blood test that can tell me you ain’t mines,
And Its never been kept a secret who your real father is,
But that bastard don’t even know what your favourite colour is
When you have a bad dream, you scream my name not his,
Sometimes I wounder if you found me or if I found you,
Your lifes already been hard enough, I see the strength in you,
So you see our life and immediate family is priority,
Im here for support n I’ll never try ta come done like authority,
The older you get, the closer we get, its actually hard for me,
Cause I gotta realistically look upon tomorrow n be bothered,
I dread the first time your mad at me and say “your not my real father”


Dady ill never say that…..no honey..its just a proven fact…..

If ya liked this please vote on the battle heres the link:
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139167

hey thats actually good....
i could almsot see the scenery on this topical but this was good

i rate it a 6/10 y is cos some lines i thought were kinda wierd

koo,thanks man..what lines do ya think were wierd so that i can adjust for future topicals???

damn you cats sleep alot on this site...uppin 4 some feedback yo...good or bad

Very deep and heart felt...I give you an 8 out of 10,,,
but it really doesn't matter what I think,,,Its what you think, and feel,,,
but I really did enjoy reading it...God bless all...1

thanks yo...you always say it don't matter what you think..thanks again 4 da feedback im glad you enjoyed the read.........pc

it was below average use betta structure and vocab

uppin for some feedback............................

i thought it was pretty good, i liked the story u was tellin...nice work

thanx for the feedback i guess thats all ya have ta say bout it ,,,,

fuck virtue dat wigga always hatin...n e ways i felt it a lot good store fuck wut virtue said ur structure was good i could really see da story u was tlkn bout keep postin nigga
peace check my shit out holla back peace

this was ok and i read it all

thanx for da feedback...pc