Turn Fa tha Worse
 

As quickly as she came, she can go
left my heart without hope....Mission Impossible
Broken, feelin like a patient in a hos-pit-al
How is it pos-sible?
It aint possible, to recovery this way!
Slower than molasses...equalz...tha recovery rate
Neva thought i would discover this day
Didn't havta happen this way
In all actual-ailty babe
I'm still feelin pain even though we go back a date
Like I'm stuck in this rain
flooded with shame!
I mean...shyt was i cursed?
I guess this thang we had just took a TURN FOR THA WORSE!!

and thaz real!!

Gimme some feedback

nice drop for it to be so short rhyme scheme was great but the content was powerful in a simple way..deep shit for love.

thanx fa tha feedback

ill remeber to make my poems longer next tyme

as i said b4 that was some real shit, keep it up.

Not bad. Dont worry bout lengthening or shortening your poems. poems are whatever you make them to be. That being said - I (personally, not subjectively) wasnt feel the syllable count, as of course, I am an audio head and am used to making lines equal in lenght so they flow smooth. So for me, the rhymes were hard to read fluently. I dont know if that was intentional, but i assume not, so I'd say work on that. Other than that though - multis were good, and poem was aight. 1

thanx phenom-in-all that was great feed back

and thanx to everyone else for their comments

i like it....lot of emotion...goodjob on it....i like it short....

favor returned lol...

sup i'm turban i'[m not really a rapper and like experimenting with different things i have alot of good material , that is used by alot of bands in my area i liked what you wrote im me sometime inyaki73086 i will show you my better stuff , i'm more of a emo punky kid but i do listen to alot of rap so if you could help me out with this rap stuff please feel free to

^^^ thanx for tha feedback turban!!! it helped me alot

now i tottaly understand where my faults were

ur comments couldnt have been moe useful

uhh u should ask for help somewhere else kid

Bro, that was some real shit. I think it could've been a little longer, but you've probably considered that already. That does have potential to be turned into a rap song, holla at me if you wanna collab on that.

Honest votes only, folks.
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139283

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=138941

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=138907

damn kidd netha nice drop...alot of feelin put in 2 dat and some crazy multi's...dat was some real shyt there man...know how it is 2 have shyt change in a relationship...but ay dat is how life is can't change what we do...but dat had some nice simple vocab in dat...and the flow was nice 2...it was short but it was still a nice drop...keed dat shyt comin kidd peace

ight fa sho man...thanx fa tha feed

and to P-dizzle...im down wit a collabo

just e-mail me about it

HOLLA!

uppin fa more feed