no purpose
 

I pray every nite and still end up confused//
I guess I'll never win no matter wat path I choose//
same ole tunes, play the same ole blues//
I struggle, but I guess I'm destined to lose//
emotions subdued, cryin silent wit a smile//
life is juvenile, the world moves like turnstiles//
feel all this hurt now, and days are worthless//
wats the purpose, I'm a wreck unda the surface//
all this hurtin, I'm startin to loose faith//
death I inticipate, I'll jus sit here and wait//

yo u have the right idea
but ur shit is way way to short
although u tryed to be complex,and u did have good emotion in this
it was still short next time make it a lil longer and should be good

elevate

u have no purpose bein a poet u suck gorilla ball's

^^^ thaz not true

this was a really good drop...it was kinda short but good

it was strong and got tha point across in very few lines

clever word combinations.....only thing wrong really was the ender

that should be ur hardest line...grab the reader and make him/her feel what u feel

but yeah i think u got tha right idea...keep it up

well u should return tha favor and gimme some feed back on my poems:
"you pain is my pain" and "turn for tha worse"

thanx fo the feedback, yeah all my shits be short, cause I get lazy and jus stop.... Gorilla balls? that was suppose to be humorous?