Oliver Twist....Twisted
 

Once Again, I'm new here...and i'm not really down for open mics...but I havn't found out how ya'll do the battles around here so I'll drop another quick key for ya to critic and lemme know what ya think......

Twisted into a million thoughts of wonder when they fester
I'll come humble with this lecture....
And let ya'll know I don't crumble under pressure
Your kids need the content..the scholars insist
Haters can hate and the ballers get pissed
'Cus I've been lived the streets..the rap Oliver Twist
Fuck a video..call me the lyrical technition
I'm a broken promise un full filled like kid's who just kept wishin'
For another chance and a better way of life
But the cost is high so someone better change the price
Freedom..just a word as emcees we need balance
We'd all die to be high up like kings you see the palace?..
Or can you see the critical aspect of this rhyme
Basterds take your time....
Because i'll devour in 1 second what takes ya 60 minutes time
I diminish all kinds..of emcees I feel no remorse
You can't just study an enemy if you don't have no resource
So I'm forced to pour coarse language to better you
And it's not a question why I made it big homie instead of you
Sad but true....we can't all be the next shit
They say evrything bigger down south.so you should just move to texas
Check the check list...the best is
when ya kno you got what it takes
to beat all odds and put out the best in a tape
Some live hip hop..other's profession is rape
but prison cells and court rooms put the best things at stake
This is heavy but listen I'm not new to the cause
They say I shine bright but i guess the proofs in the stars...


ok done..just a li'l key style maybe a 15 minute i think....but check it out and leave some critic..i'm always tryna find out if people dig it or whats up......2

rise this..........2

good flow n wordplay liked it nice drop peep my new shit wit emergin 2 new callabo's peae n holla back nigga 1 luv

no doubt man..i'll peep it ............2

nice shit man
good structure nice flow

good creativity
nice imagery
keep up the good shit

no doubt thanks man........2

rise this..............2

good flow and wordplay...good job

word...ty man..............2

yo oliva i liked yo shit dawg i felt ya, nice wordplay but evrythin cud elevate jus keep gettin betta but nice piece, n yea peep does collabos, iite 1 love

yeah..i'll make sure i peep them...thanx tho for that crictic..........2

shit dawg no problem keep postin new shit

no doubt..i will............2

can i get some more critic?.........2

I like your style but your flow is off quite a bit. Try to keep all your bars the same syllable length. Still not bad lyrically. Keep em comin, also wat ya think of my verse Death Wish?????