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Eclipsik vs I. Mind
Battle Rules:
40 lines max No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 3-0 is KO Wen you vote..plz explain it... Topic: Your now a famous rapper, what where ur struggles on ur way to be there... Minimum posts to vote: 100 Check in by: 08-28-04 at 07:46 PM Must drop verse in 720 minutes after check in. |
I. Mind has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-28-04 07:17 PM.
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Eclipsik has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-28-04 07:19 PM.
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Taking for granted that whatever is in my verse that I eventually become a famous rapper, here I go...
Rappin' on school playgrounds at the ~age~of~six~/ Little kids surrounded think I'm ~lame~as~shit~/ Fuck what you think, I'll be a ~star~one~day~/ When I make it then we'll see what you ~marks~gon'~say~/ Fast foward, I'm 17, no job no ~paycheck~/ Livin' on the streets usin' my talents to ~make~bread~/ Mama kicked me out thinkin' I'm lazy and ~foolish~/ Cause I focus on my raps instead of workin' or ~schoolin'~/ Hustlin' for gigs so I can eat by both ~meanings~/ Findin' odd jobs like window and car ~cleaning~/ Sellin' CD's out the back of my ~trunk~/ Write in my back seat while I listen to ~bump~/ Sendin' out my demos lookin' 4 ~feedback~/ Not intrested, well at least get my~CD~back!~/ Could've sold it for ~profit~, bought me some ~hot~chips~/ A sandwich and a Pepsi, my stomach have ~loud~fits~/ Local fame risin' even though my ~money~not~/ They even know me at the Starbucks ~coffee~shops~/ Battle cats daily win ~tournaments~with~ease~/ Love my craft, but this life is ~burden~on my~wings~/ Homesick, I haven`t spoke to ~mama~in~years~/ Hope she not at home thinkin' 'bout our ~drama~in~tears~/ Damn, all is uncertain and left in the ~air~/ It's light at the end and I'm tryin' to get ~there~/ Jumpy...I know... |
Topic: Your now a famous rapper, what where ur struggles on ur way to be there...
40 lines max Whats in my mind now Damn this is crazy knowin dat i finally and actually made it... I never woulda believed i'd be in the world of rap entertainment... I went from card board boxes to diamond rings n gold watches.. Im livin the rich life for now, and no one will or can ever stop it... Everyone thinks i got here easily, n dats why my lifes so humble.. But the truth is, the whole time on my way here i always struggled.. My Struggles [One] I remember bein only 17, people sed i had no chance at bein famous... Cuz the buisness industry was full of white peeps dat were all racist.. Wen i began rhymin, everyone i knew just lowerd my confidence.. Always sed i was not good enough back in my home the providence... I hated my fam, cuz they told me im nothing n i shoulda gave up.. But i didn't wanna be like dem, or else in the filipienes i'll jst stay stuck... My first struggle was the most difficult, it was to earn peoples respect... Cuz i was a reject, i would always be the person they would neglect... Though i did things they wouldn't expect like correct the incorrect... I turned my rhymes from wack to ill, everyday my skill i made perfect... But it never seemed to work out for me, jst cuz the color of my skin.. Everytime i got rejected it seemed like my chances were gettin thin... So the only way to prove my self was to go in rap battles dat were live.. Like BET's free style friday, but it got worst cuz i lost after the 1st time.. It kept feelin as if God was given me signs that i had no chance at all.. But wut kept me goin was the dont give up posters hangin on mah wall.. Why I kept Going Those Posters were givin to me by my bro, wen everyone put me down... But i realized if i don't become who i want, soon my fam wont be around.. Just like the rest since they have no money they'll just die of starvation... But once I get my money, i'll give em the first vacation n a place to stay in... My Struggles [Two] I've been turned too many times, i just ran out of money to live any longer... I was homeless for three years, i kept gettin weak instead of gettin stronger.. I lived with the bums, learned tips from old friends like michael J Meyers... like papers is a good insalator and don't sleep to close to the fire... I was poorer then poor, shyt you wouldn't even call it poverty.. Cuz i slept on dirt so dirty, no one would claim it their property... I gave up on rappin, so i went in dis one last battle for the last time... It was like a miracle, i lasted 1 hour, 0 losses and my win records was 9... Finally here It took me for more then twenty three years to be where i am now... I lived a life to great with no regrets and all with out a doubt.. Im doing pretty good, cuz im doing from platinum albums to sold out concerts.. Im happy with my life, even though i lost my sister, mom, and even my father.. But its okay i lost them, cuz the person next to me i luv more then ne other... He's the guy that always luved n cared for me, my one n only luving brother... |
uppin
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Voted For: I. Mind
Both Nice, I Was Really Feelin Your Verse I.MIND...... Nice Structure, Real Lyricz, Epic Wordplay, Loved It Mayn Keep Up The DOPE REALNESS..... 9/10 Eclip, Ya Verse Was Okay, But It Didnt Really Seem Real Enuff, I.MIND Put Alot More Effort InTo It, But Proppz, Nice Multies n Nice Metas.... 7/10 Eclip Good Lookin n Much Much Proppz 4 Both Verses, Loved Readin Em |
uppin
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thanks for the feed. Any more takers?
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This was feedback posted for I. Mind
good mutha fuckin ob. another classic. keep yo game up.
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Voted For: Eclipsik
ok i mind good drop but sounded more like poetry no hate but i cant stand that shit cuz its annoying as fuck so flow was way off structure was good vocab was very nice ok story i wasnt really feeling it though not a good enough visiual and thats what i look for in a topical also too long5/10 eclipsik ok vocab good structure flow was a little off but caught i really liked the starving visualization you gave cuz thats how it really is when this rap is all you got i really liked the simplicity of the story and the way you could slowly bring us up to the topic instead of jumping striight in like i mind did it sounded like something that could easily transfer to a beat also a 8/10 no hate only a honest vote return the honesty some time i mind good drop but i think he beat you cuz he gave a better visual of a starving artist |
its cool, as long as its honest..uppin
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uppin
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uppin for votes :shoot:
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Voted For: Eclipsik
i think eclipsik won dis one i was feelin tha flow n he had betta rhymes. tha punchlines were pretty hard to n tha vocab was iight i think hes elivatin nice... vote=eclipsik |
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