FRAMEWORK (the structure of lyrics, metaphors and similies peep the script and reply)
 

FrameWork

AYo Ima...
Touch you with flow like a gust of wind/
Wrap round’ ya bones, feel me like flesh unda ya skin/
See writing is new to me, to be comfortable Im breakin it in/
Squeeze the heart of the game, to get the life pumpin again/
So never will I lose appetite for Hip Hop/
Stayin hungry to save a spot for food for thought/
To get more niggas up outta seats than Rosa Parks/
Shogun of the Dark…
And I Rockin rhythms like pendulums till the gasket pops/
And hit em with wisdom in small interims till the casket drops/
Cause aint got nothing but time on the hands/
And maybe a mic stand to spit on relevant demand/
Lyrically Ima stay crooked without help of kickstand/
Or hypeman Ima take you underground like quicksand/

You see in my camp we destroy and build/
Promptly dismantle decoys infiltratin the cannablistic guild/
See I Only got one shot in to blow, so one bullet in the chamber
If it hits ya after the DJ spins it you know I gotta banger/ (Get it? Hahaha)
And doppelgangers can document the lectures of professors/
But can’t stand to better the measures of the architecture/
Or the architect…/
Who never tries the pants fallin off another man/
Im the belt who holds up more than straps (guns) and brands/
Such a repertoire renders the appearance of Hip Hop loosely fitted/
So lemme smooth the ridges and tighten up the image/
Emcees droppin the ball frivolous to kids...
Bein foul on ya joints/
Cause till the ref calls it malicious, cats will mimic...
And no one will sound the point/
Lyricists in these times are in affliction...
they don’t write rhymes/
They steadily verbalize prescriptions...
And it must be morphine cause I aint feelin it/

nice man good drop...

nice drop.....i liked your use of similies and metaphors...they were all over the place...flow could use some work...adjusting your syllable count would help out a lot...but overall...impressive

Thanks Dog But What You Mean The Flow Was Off...i Wrote This To A Instrumental

there were just some lines I felt like you had deliver the 2nd line of the couplet a lot faster than the first....like your trying to cram...your flow was good..don't get me wrong.....all i was saying is flow is the biggest of your problems(meaning over all you have that piece strapped tight).........anyways....check my response to what you said under anti trust

^^^^^word...

word to what??? lol

the post... song... jus wanted to say that...

hye ya'll need to sop sleepin on this there is way to many viewers passin this joint up

this piece was pretty good...flow also had me a lil confused, but if you wrote it to an instrumental and it flows well, I might just be reading it wrong...feeling everything you put in here...metaphors, wordplay...anywayz...nice drop dawg...get at me

THANK YOU BLACK MAGIK...i really appreciate it yeah im my style is a bit odd na mean...bu thanks for the love...1

Ups

Give Me Some Love

it can use some work.. but keep on tryin hard.