Spektikul vs Verbal Abuse
Punchline Battle Rules...
-30 Line Minimum -Must have 100+ posts to vote -2 days to check, 3 days to drop -No crew, hate, bullshit, d/r, biting, recycling... -Topic will be............"A Deeper Hell" Best of luck Verbal... Minimum posts to vote: 100 Check in by: 09-05-04 at 02:16 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Uppin for Verbal to accept...If you have already seen this open thread...plz type in here so that I know you know...
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Verbal Abuse has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-03-04 01:18 PM.
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[FONT=tahoma]^^^i accepted, so you know i know. maditory check checked.[/DONT]
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"A Deeper Hell" sanctuaries wont trash hell's ticket, but mudder hope. hell bound is well found as neglect, exempt from those but a dope. beloved folk yield the other's cope, living under pressure. relevance; a studded joke, while we distill a despirate measure. mind n soul indevered, circulating sin and self repentance. reminace n call love its antidote, and matain in fear of sentence. let loose the inner menace, and foreclose your worthless theories. on a level of integrity, god willing you reach your happy series. the devil's fury expands, feeding off human nature. classify murder as reflexsive, and youll trash n ruin labor. built this nation apon a century, with struggles for independence. you kill a law, when death comes to more kin in minutes. you sit within the limits, you wont finish unless you fake attempts. trapped n hopeless with shit results, like thick chicks making dents. some earn a greater vision to administer a sacred mission... ...yet make no percision. i for one want heaven's admission. a Lord to glorify petition... ...and a halo incision. a savior is risen, its truth. like self propelling a coward. you cant do it on your own, and you still recite rebellion a power. my desire rests in heaven, no need for tranquil discipline. defiance comes so natural, its like we're pissin sin. the praise must be missin him, aim a little farther. saying you cant be heard, well proclaim a little harder. your lives are lived a martyr. these days, ppl pop pills like suicide is health. if it was that popular back then, jesus would have crucified himself. dont you get it? he sacrificed his son in hopes of wisdom for the patient. to live in holy places, thats why he was risen from his placement. its candid, you cant erase it. his enternal fire is still hot in me. cant compare the evidence? like god was a philosophy. hes not a transparent being. but a breathing source of love. you might not hear the calling yet, youll know when the feel is forced to shove. perhaps jesus had a face lift, a facial truth. until his features fell. either way its your decision. a faithful heaven, or a deeper hell? |
Spektikul has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-04-04 11:34 PM.
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A Deeper Hell Last thing I remember, the sound of gunshot's in the air Six shots to the chest later, I rest, intensive care I swear I might not live, and that I realize As I try to sleep, my whole life flashes before my eyes I disguise myself from the fear, that frightens me at night In an instant, consistantly running toward a light Despite It's bright beauty, I could start to see a shade Just then I started falling, as the light began to fade I made it to the ground, found myself there all alone Dark and cold, a million miles away from home Unknown to where I was, as I got my thoughts together Next thing I know, a violent change occured within the weather I never knew it hurt, but the acid from the rain Started burning in my skin, and flowing through my veins The pain was too intense, so I ran where I could hide From the rain that was spurning, while im buring from inside I tried to take shelter, as my body started shaking When the sky filled with fire, and the earth started quaking I'm aching constantly, but then I fell from an attack In a pool of my blood, claw marks deep inside my back The fact I cannot move, only leaves me left to stare As I burn and bleed, evil screams howl through the air A pair of fire balls strike, like the spirits playing games In seconds, my entire body was engulfed with burning flames Its strange how I can't scream, cause my mouth has been sewn shut The rest of my body remains broken, burnt and badly cut But then something happened, that was worse than all the rest My ribs started breaking, and then open went my chest Messed up organs seeping out, my whole body fell apart When finally I lay next, to my slowly beating heart It starts to beat slower, as I wish that I was dead Praying for God's help, as my eyes roll in my head I led myself to think, that I could never fall The scariest thing about this place, is no one's here at all I crawl but it's just black, theres nothing left to see My heart's last beats are beating, as a man stands over me He said I slipped into a coma, life for me will soon be hard When I was gone, ninety-three percent of my body became charred The rest scarred and bruised, you must have really took a dive Its like you've died and gone to hell, son, your lucky to be alive Arrived back in my room, after several operations There's a chance I may still live, give my full co-operation This situation's tough, down my cheek I feel a tear It's not there from all the pain, I'm still crying from the fear. |
Nice Verse Verbal, props...Lets get some honest votes going ya'll, you'd better actually read both of them too, we took the time to write, you'd better take time to read...no bullshit...upping.
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Voted For: Spektikul
ok verbal wins in vocab but thats it good story and nice structure good metas but you aint give me a good visualization and that what needs to be done to win topicals. spec you shit needs better vocab but the story was fucking dope shit gave me the chills ending was official whole shit was fire good structure and words fell like a movie sun i never knew you was this fucking dope sun that shit was fire a 9/10 only vocab stopped it from being a 10/10 |
This was feedback posted for Verbal Abuse
good stuff...... i can get into this..... pm me if any of you guys wanna take me on.... peace
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^^^dont come in here freeposting sindrome, you actually gotta leave feed on our battle. If you wanna make a callout, go do it in bitchslapped...Thanks for your honest feed/vote Empire, Upping for more honest votes, dont sleep ya'll this shits hot...
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Voted For: Verbal Abuse
Verbal Abuse got this with better wordplay, and better use of vocab, his verse was more enjoyable than Spektikul's, whose verse was aight, but verbal's verse is deeper, both of yall did a great job, but my vote goes to Verbal Abuse Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
Thanks for your voting so far everone, uppin for some more...
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Voted For: Verbal Abuse
blah both were iiight nice topic though VA: your shit was nice good verse nice overall you stayed well on the topic and it was really good and deep but some was kind of wierd took me 4 times to read so i can understand ya verse SPEKTIKUL: nice try man nice verse overall but it really wasnt that good as verbal abuse you stayed on the topic well but at someplace you kind of drifited off but god sturcutre and flow to both of you Vote: VA |
return the favor:
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=147901 Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
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