sHooTout...want feed fo improvement..(a freestyle)
 

B]sHooTout...[/B]

after dat last shootout, dere ain't nuttin to be shared
u didn't hav to go thru wit it, nigga u weren't dared
so bring ya gogglez, yea cuz i kno u scared
blast two shots to yow eye, nigga u vision impaired
dawg, u coulda even been spared
cuz in ma head da victory has already been declared
instead, i suggest u bring a vest if u wanna stay alive
cause niggaz wit chest holes usually don't survive
but if u get thru da rumble safe 'n sound
imma be on yow block lett'in off anotha round
oh, but u think ma glock lookz strange..
not da way it look from point blank range..
and wen u go to bed, i hope u pray
cuz i'm already load'in clipz fo da next day...

juss a short drop
if u dun lyke....open fo suggestionz

not too good.. lines were stretched off flow.. could be better... just keep tryin hard and u will do good...

yo, hot shit, u jus need to no how to rite and stuff, keep it up,u down for a Remix though? Shootout part2.

remix.....yea, i'm down fo it..

yo keep doing your thing,,an you will be where you want to be in no time
Nice drop dog,,Remember only God can judge,,,God bless all

feed back would hurt any one
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=147764

yo, thx fo da reply.......god bless dawg..

by da way dawg.....Qin iz me reply'in too
juss so ya kno

yo, look'in fo sum feed......

wanna kno wut to wrk on 'n wut ma strong pointz r....

if 'ny body wanna make a small remix, holla.......

i'll be on that remix and dawg it ain't the best but it better than the first one lol keep it up. you got 8 now so just keep going you need 20 but i'm saurprised you got so many people to give feed back

need more wordplay,...

aiiet dawg....thx fo da reply

mor replies peeple..