first online open mic so i dont have a link
 

oh shit they went and let me grab the microphone
im in this mutha fucka blazin sumthin nice and strong
lacin this track with whatever that my mind is on
im never not packin enough to send your ass home
not talkin 'bout bullets but still love when i have to pull it
out and off ya head dedapitate confused illusions
sever ya tendons tiwist ya spinal cord commit mind bendins
forever friendless and i never thought that i could find contentness
severely relentless apparently appear with a freshness
my sins is passed confessions be assed if God cleared His blessins
do shit despite live the edge thats my life
i pledge alliegence to the street shit that pops at night
aint scared to fight put em up and bet yer wife
then im goin on to the punk and bettin yer wife
please get it right when when i grab the mic my 'teens tight
with obscene delight now im on the scene to exceed nice

i dont know just 16 bars-what do i do now?

i guess you gotta know people here to get felt

nah i think it was aight, pretty good flow for ur first online post keep it tight

dat wuz tight...no lie, for ya 1st spit, not bad....

actually it was 16 lines n 8 bars,flow was ok,fell off at the end,the drop im gathering was a freestyle?.cause it didnt really have any overall distinguished plot...
take a look at how some other peeps drop there lines to make it easier to read..
fix ya structure basically,keep droppin....keep elevatin,you got decent vocab..

yeah thanks


i got another one