NEW MUST PEEP!!!! Bemused Man - DeadlyVision and Enygma Collab
 

Hot Drop!!!!! Check it out. It's called Bemused Man. It's about what happens when a guy finds out his girl is cheating....

1st Verse - DV
2nd Verse - Enygma

Bemused Man

LEAVE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hot!!!

Yes

why tha fuck r ya'll sleepin on this man??

if ya'll cant releate...your gay or jus never had a real relationship

ah'ight I'm a post some thorouugh indept feedback cuz engyma always does for me so I am returning favor.

OK first DV: The positives of ya verse: it was well written, the story developed very well, and the mixing on it was good.

Negatives....your delivery didn't have much emotion an it was monotone, your pronounciation made some lines a lil unclear, your flow it seemed to be rushing some words, suggestions...try to shorten ya lines an picking out certain words in every line to say in a unique way, it'll help the monotonous of ya verse an ya flow will sound less forced.

Engyma positives of ya verse: jus like DV nicely written, good story...also mixed very well.

Negatives.....biggest thing would be too slow down a lil, if u gonna use a fast flow u gotta do change ups...which is speeding up an slowing down, like take twista for instance he'll speed thru the whole line then slow up on the rhyme words it makes it sound so much smoother, delivery it wasn't bad but u didn't quite sound as anger as ya lyrics, an ya flow also sounded forced, as a speed rapper u can spit more syllables but u gotta count them perfect to make it flow perfect so I'd say slightly shorten ya lines an you'll be cool.

Damn....that's probably the best feedback I've ever gotten on here. Thanks man...I'll take that into consideration.......but this might mean you won't like my verse in our collab.....lol. yeah....I'm finished with it so hit me up on AIM whenever you're ready for it :thumbup:

Word Triple nice feed

i just now heard this ish.. mad slept on..

DV: was cool.. i thought you could have spoke a bit more clearly.. flow was aight... safe drop.. nothing to bad about it.. was strait..

enygma: i was kinda feelin this... i just htink if you slowed down, and re-worded ya lines a bit... you could be pretty ill... ya thoughts and lyrics are there.. its just ya flow are a lil bit stretched... ya delivery seems rushed.. if you jsut slowed a TINY bit nad cut some words out.. youd be pretty damn nice... :).. that richochet line and the double vision line were good..

safe track over all.. goodf job

aight this song was pretty fucken dope.....the concept and the beat fit real well together.....the lyrics was pretty gud but on some parts of the song i felt it was a little off beat maybe rushed....not sure id have to hear it again....on DV's verse i felt u didnt have that much emotion but ur lyrics made up for that same for E......overall its a dope track gud shit

DV - not much emotion, but ya drop was pretty good. Hella good topic - and I can relate a bit. Track was good. Enygma - ya flow is a little odd to me. Prolly why you dont like mine - we got different styles. You flowed aight, but ya lyrics were DOPE on this. Overall good track.

dope shit..

Id drop feedback but itd basically be the same as everyone else sayin..

whats that beat though? i hear that round so much but can never find it..

yo that was dope i like both verses an d ur voices sure ae deep... i dont kno who but ones is deeper than mines...

i agree with alotta people........ and i think for this type of song it should be a slower flow then some songs just because of the subject matter......... and EMOTION is so important for any type of songs especially this song..... ricochet line was dope and i liked the song but it was almost too gruesome at sum parts............. but overall good song..

Word Yo We apreciate all the feed. we improvin and elevatin.

And we shall do Pt2 on this..lol

yo i'd liked this cut, yo enygma i was feeling your flow, when you first came on you reminded me of sadat x from brand nubian. dv nice drop, maybe a little more emotion, great story. overall nice drop, keep em coming.