Reloaded vs lyriclord
 

10 - 20 lines

house its a blind spit

good luck

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 09-21-04 at 05:26 PM

Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in.

Reloaded has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-18-04 05:41 PM.

whats your name its hard to read/
my ryhmes are like toxic making it hard for you to breathe/

you little noobie bitch dont know/
im hear to fry your ass and reap your soul/

ho's no you dont get any/
cause your rhymes are just like your game,shity/

cause your pigeon done flown the coupe/
you only won your first battle by a fluke/

this battlle i will win/
cause for you this is the end/

come on and spit or are you choking? little bitch.

in case ya didnt notice i was OFFLINE. ill spit in a min

oh and its blind spit so you can spit before me anyway

lyriclord has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-19-04 07:37 AM.

Got a crap text record, not botherin with audio, gonna make another scratch on ya record now,
End it now and get off the site, do away with rap, farewell now take a bow,
Your only two wins were properly from dq’s or gainst newbs wacker then you, if there is one,
Every battle you go into, by every opponent you are just clearly outdone,
Yo some one teach this herb how to rap, cus hes gonna lose every battle with lines that crap,
And every one will want to battle him, jus for an easy win, hey kid ya want a map?
So ya can find ya way onto the winnin track, in battles he can’t defend even a really weak attack,
Reading my verse your head will go smack, on the floor when ya read my rhymes, cus yours are so wack,
I excepted and now im gonna finish this battle, between two newbs, one good and him,
Take your wack ass and your crappy rhymes and get down to a gym.

aight uppin in advance

Voted For: lyriclord

reloaded -
whats your name its hard to read/
my ryhmes are like toxic making it hard for you to breathe/

hard to read ? you blind ? and self glorification wont get ya anywhere.

you little noobie bitch dont know/
im hear to fry your ass and reap your soul/

know what ? again self glorification

ho's no you dont get any/
cause your rhymes are just like your game,shity/

dont even rhyme

cause your pigeon done flown the coupe/
you only won your first battle by a fluke/

also dont rhyme

this battlle i will win/
cause for you this is the end/

again it dont rhyme, pretty wack to be honest. make lines longer and less self glorification.

lyriclord -

Got a crap text record, not botherin with audio, gonna make another scratch on ya record now,
End it now and get off the site, do away with rap, farewell now take a bow,

okay opener. nice long lines but you aint botherin with audio either.

Your only two wins were properly from dq’s or gainst newbs wacker then you, if there is one,
Every battle you go into, by every opponent you are just clearly outdone,

okay bar again, nice punch

Yo some one teach this herb how to rap, cus hes gonna lose every battle with lines that crap,
And every one will want to battle him, jus for an easy win, hey kid ya want a map?

again it was ok, again nice punch

So ya can find ya way onto the winnin track, in battles he can’t defend even a really weak attack,
Reading my verse your head will go smack, on the floor when ya read my rhymes, cus yours are so wack,

dissin him again. i can see that your elevatin.

I excepted and now im gonna finish this battle, between two newbs, one good and him,
Take your wack ass and your crappy rhymes and get down to a gym.

bit of self glorification at the end there, nice anyway. good verse nice flow and long lines, okay punches keep workin on it.

vote goes to lyriclord for better flow and punches.

no hat just an honest opinion.

This was feedback posted for lyriclord
 

flow was off from the beginning of this battle lyriclord, try and keep your lines more an equal length. your punches were ok, some decent, some less than average. rhyming structure was ok, it's just you were trying to use multi's when there really wasn't any need to, try and use multi's when it helps with a hard punch, not just to say you've had a multi in it. ending was weak and i didn't get it.

reloaded, try and elevate on everything, you weren't even rhyming the whole verse, you were rhyming a few lines, then not bothering with the others. very weak verse in my opinion, no hard hitting punches or personals. ending must have been the wackest thing i have ever seen. elevate. no hate, just feedback.

upping..........

Voted For: lyriclord

flow-lyriclord, reloaded the second lines on mostly the beginning 6 lines were stretched and didnt flow right compared to the first line

punches-lyriclord, some were a little weak but reloaded's was more weak in this case, reloaded jus gotta up ya vocab and get more creative with things, think about the lines and think how can u switch words around/add multies/ or add good vocab to spice up the punch and make it way better then how u originally wrote it

thanks basically it for this one reloaded good try no hate but lyriclord got this good luck

peace

upping for votes.......

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...012#post1597012

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...022#post1597022

check my battles wen u get a chance, honest vote thanks peace

uppin on this shit ...... lets get some votes in soon