random freestyle
 

aight yo i thought this was pretty tight so im putting it in here so i can get some elevation tips

why u gotta hide where you from
i live on the streets but you the fuckin bum
leave you numb and acting all dumb
boys sayin calm down man, only broke ya thumb
i hit hard and turned your bread to crumbs
fumble around dizzy and tumbling
stumbling over your words like i was on CAPS LOCK
i ride with style while your cheap ass rydin stock
scratch that, ill hack that, back track you ride cock
so dont come crying to me looking for pussy to beat
skeet spots all over your sheets from another meat
wrap you up and put you in the trash just gota bag it
soft weak maggot dont talk me to anymore i aint no faggot!!

I Aint Gunna Chat Shit An Say Urs Shit Unlike Mines Heres Da Straight Up Trutth

Very Gud Wrd Composition And Rymin Techniques However Its Onli Da Last Line Which Jus Needs Mor Adjustin

Lol But Dat Can Definatly Kill Ma Lyrics Lol No Joke !

^^uppin mayn thats what i wana see nice feedback and props thanks LadyT

like^^^said you have got a good lil rhyme scheme going on...but the vocab needs elavatin...then the multis you had would have sounded better and the read wouldve been easier...good drop thiugh...1

thanks mayn uppon on all this feedback i do what i can and then i only get better so thanks for the feedback pplz

it was str8 dawg i felt u on dat 1 keep elevatin

thanks man im apprectating all this feedback i had like nest to none on my last one so i appreciate this pplz

Nice Drop Homie.. Betta Than Wat U Did Against Me.. But Just Work On Vocab... But Overall Nice Drop

thanks man uppin on the feedback..tight nice to know we aint got beef dawg

"i ride with style while your cheap ass rydin stock
scratch that, ill hack that, back track you ride cock"

^^excellent wording and flow. i enjoyed that. only thing is that both words should be the same. i personally would have used the word RYDIN both times...just to keep the symmetry and the whole concept uniform. but i liked it kid. keep doin it

aight man thatnks for the feedback uppin on all thsi cuz i felt i needed to elevate so thanks for the feedback keep it coming

vocab needs sum elevation for real but ur rhyme scheme was pretty nice, as a freestyle not bad, keep it up..

yeh uppin on this but it was kinda an older open mic i think ima take it out so i get more feedback on my new one R.I.P. so check that out ppz
peace~1

personally i think it could use some work. espesailly on flow.