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HoPe vs -..Jono..-
Battle Rules:
6 min - 30 lines max No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 3-0 is KO topic: Last Thing You Said! Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 09-27-04 at 11:48 PM Must drop verse in 60 minutes after check in. Win by 3-0 KO |
-..Jono..- has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-27-04 11:25 PM.
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HoPe has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-27-04 11:34 PM.
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This a Hail to my homies, with the 'stuck' 'locked' Knowledge
who end up with with more questions bout life, than a Middle east Hostage don' think bout the questions, 'become the answer' n floss it like a coin don' flip n toss it, think every action like n entry to collage.. Nigga cant be strayed, maimed, or played by his own mixed ideas 'Feelin gangster' so he'll feel us, Forced to learn to run with The Realas' 'On my knees' is where they treat us, Times forcen' to acknowledge Jesus Who's gone slug who first, Which nigga is 'really' gonna come out on top with bullets causin a heart pacin, how you kno your heart aint gon' jus stop mixin your mix in the lot, how you know you gonna not get dropped by a cat lookin to make more, cus he aint feelin your cd bein copped when your the car who makes 'Beef' his 'Emotion', Straight West Coastin Body always boastin, by the clips you been Holsten, Waitin Premotions to cus the comotion, to put a nigga back he'd think of juve's slow motion The question has been asked, pac wanted to bee buried n free laid as a G So is there any doubt, there aint no way this battle is burnin me like n urn for free, bottle up this ash of 'Uncertainty' 'thinkin before actions', filled more with truth than jays moment of clarity makes niggas who are in it for the long run, spit n give 'lines' like a charity niggas run up n marry me, i aint got doubts or 'Uncertainty' jus utter 'Sincerity'.. This a Hail to my homies, with the 'stuck' 'locked' Knowledge who end up with with more questions bout life, than a Middle east Hostage don' think bout the questions, 'become the answer' n floss it like a coin don' flip n toss it, think every action like n entry to collage.. |
car**cat
sorry forgot there was a time limit, checked in with 20 minutes left had to jus type n make it on time, structure was fucked but got it out at least, peace |
Topic: Last Thing You Said Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed It's eight in the morning, and i have to work for twelve hours.... Sun shin'n in my eyes, n woke up by get'n in a cold shower... Damn, once again, i woke up on da wrong side of da bed.. I can't move period, it feels like my legs are jst plain dead... Errr, man! i still got to take my bitchy brother back to skewl... I hate this! Sometimes wishin, i was part of a differ gene pool... I get my car keys, pull and just shove my lil bro into the car... I sed, "Damn, your face looks as if you just survied sars"... Something On His Mind While driving him to skewl, he looked a little depressed... i told him,"im sorry for saying dat, i jst didn't have enough rest"... He sed its cool, but i knew there was somethin else in his mind... I asked him wuts wrong..he shouted, it was his buisness, not mine!.. I sed.."Man wut da hells wrong with you!!don't give me this attitude!"... "All i asked was wut is wrong...no wonder ur girls always mad at u!"... I just wasn't in the mood..so i told him to "fuck off and just die"... I can't stand it anymore! already late, not realizing it was almost nine... Got Home and Just Too Tired To Write It was just another tiering night, im alone writting as usuall... Topic was: Something you regret doing dat was just way to-brutal... All i could think of nothing, so it was just really tuff to write.. But this verse was due in 10 minutes, and it was almost mid-night... Me bein too tired 2 write! i jst posted wit only 10 seconds to spare... I ran out of energy, and fell asleep while just staring at the air... The Last Thing I Say To Him I woke up..The sun aint shining? and why is da sky just plain red?.. My whole body quickly shivers..and a gun shot flashes in my head.. I go to wake my bro up, but his bed hasn't at all been slept on... Thinkin he down stairs already awake, but everyone is jst dead gone... Only a little more worried, thinkin he got a ride from uncle stevie... My heart shatters..after seein my parents sayin he's missin on T.V. 10 years has passed... & i still remember saying, "fuck off and just die"... I never knew that would be da last thing i say to him for da last time... Good Luck |
nyce verse man..good lucK uppin......................
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Voted For: -..Jono..-
votin for jono b/c u used long words n it flows real nice its easy to read n it's hot. but ya'll both did good n hope urs was hot too but in this battle jono won Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin vvvuppin uppin uppin
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This was feedback posted for HoPe
^not a bad drop for either..... good luck, just looking out.. nice, topic also..
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uppin for feedback n votes, hollah back...apperciate the feedback so far
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uppin for feedback n votes, hollah back...apperciate the feedback so far
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uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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Voted For: HoPe
Good topicals from both......Jono...good topical, your story was good, imagery was good, flow coulda been better an structure was weak, vocab was lacking, an even though I liked your story it was too common...a homie story is so unoriginal, I wanna read something off the wall, unique different, makes it a much more entertaining read, your piece had emotion though an thats a plus but it was lacking a lot. Hope.... Story development was very strong in this, it developed to a nice climax an you made the topic your own, you gave me a view of topic from your prespective an I liked that, vocab was kinda weak, but flow was nice an structure was nice, imagery was good coulda been better, but the story u told more than made up for the flaws of your verse. Much respect to both, But I voted for hope based on having a stronger an more unique storyline to her verse, good drops by both an keep elevating. Vote: Hope |
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