tryout for the council!!
 

heres one battle

most of dez thugz is hoes/
havin victoria secret up in there assholes/
poison is fucking wack/
he likes to get T-Bagged with a nut sack/
only thing u can do in yo rhymes is studder/
ill do this rap smooth like when i boned yo mother/
this aint a movie quit hideing like the other(S)/
u and fiyaspitta act alike are u related to one another/
ill leave no evidence in this rap/
only thing im leavin is bullets from my strap/
ill defeat u like a babeality/
here dog step back into reality

and heres another

k this is round 2 im gonna spit first so fuck you/
u rap retarded/ so yo ass is getting bambarted/
u stink i think someone in here jus farted/
damn 2 battles and 2 wins for me/
im to good for u cant ya see/
im like muhammad ali cuz i float like a butterfly and sting like a bee/your ass is getting gradded in raps so u get a D/
fuck a punchline all u getting is my knee/
this rap is gonna cost ya maybe a dollar or three/
this niggas IP is 3D/1
so u know he cant see me hes still trippin of dat E/
so im gonna leave it like this let him be/
:thumbup:

....Im not bein a dickhead, or trynna beef or oofend you

but 'm pretty sure unless you step ya game up u wont be joinin the council..

Nothing wrong with say'n no, it's just the opposite of yes. Just call it how it is, and thats all ya do'n there /\ /\ /\

need to improve..................

STRUCTURE - lines are all over tha place.
FLOW - work on ure structure and u'll see how ure flow comes together.
RHYMES - all nice rhymin, but its all basic, get more complex cuz basic rhymin will only get u wins against herbies.
CREATIVITY - punches and personals are all gud and shit, but try sumthin more creative, if u gone diss someone, use metas and shit for it, or links, or wordplay better.

just a few helpful handy tips....................
and dont argue......................

CUZ THE JUDGE & JURY HAVE DECIDED..............AND THEIR DECISION IS FINAL!!!!

i am in a crew but i just wanted to see if id be good enough if i was thinking of leaving...... here ya go.
homie you never doin nuttin but stealin/
bLiNkZ da type to dump all ya nerves in ya stomach and give you a gut feelin/
I'll lynch you on topic and really leave ya life hangin by a thread/
Even wit a brain transplant, you wouldn't get a head/
Everyone doubtin ya rhymes, bitch ur outta time/
I'll shove a book through ya brain and really read ya mind/
Look at ya verse set up it proves your a rambler, dont think i cant handle ya/
Face it, you never stood a chance like a paraplegic gambler/
Pop you by ya boys even ya Mans Will Twitch/
On Rap Verse you hold as much wieght as an Anerexic Bitch/
Dont get taped up and throwin in the Trunk Of The Car/
Im Doubling Viagra Perscriptions makin things harder then they Already Are/ bitch must have swollowed an ass the way shit be coming out of his mouth/
But I'll shove track shoes down ya throat so you can really Run Ya Mouth/

u got potential, but i think personally that u need a bit more elevatin

check my linkz and holla...