My Beginner
 

just a lil somethin i came up with in the last couple hours



when i'm just chillin sittin,blessin my competition/
common sense is plus efficeint,you wishin you was in it/
messin wit it,told you once-when i spit the shits infinit/
from chrome to lyrics,damn let me slow 'for i offend your feelins/
take a step back,what you lookin at-take that mean muggin back/
oh you just gone off them drugs,wishin you could book shows with me and we dapped/
but fuck that,i'm up here now playa and i made that/
basement sat and blazed raps,from hay stacks to deejayed tracks/
signin' not off but on,blindin the soft with strong/
metaphorical prize winner,send chill shivers through my rhymes in song/
that pass through like grey poupon,first one here last man gone/
you say im past the don,but hold tough dog-i just got on/
messin wit'cha,stroll so bold and sharp it bit ya/
best ta hold ya lip cause,i scold so cold itll melt ya like wax and drip ya/
max pain is what im here ta deliver,short on flow and im the river/
demonic minded sinner,dont rewind yall thats just my beginner/:headbang:


i dont know

tell me what you think....1

^^^^^^uppin^^^^^^

yo that was tight just need some work on ur structer but the overall is good
holla at ur boy

flow on this was aight..kinda went off a lil but that was your strong point..switch up the structure a lil and you'll be set...decent drop champ

return the favor
Sage-How to Breathe through the Disease

pretty tight drop mayn i liked it......like simple sage said work on structure cuz some of yalines waz stretched a lil bit but its aight....nice multi's too man keep it up

aight man.... nice wordplay....

waddup sounded pretty good i kno u done better but it was pretty good aight lata playa

thanx for the feedback yall...yeah i know the lines were a lil long but that was the only way i could get it to flow...and the first line was sopposed to begin at "when im just chillin sittin"...but the but when i pasted it the heading or whatever that is got crammed to the first line...ima go edit it now...thanx again for the feedback...much love....1

p.s. sleepers....go ryde a sybian* and get off mine
*(i just learned that word and wanted to use it)lol

the first line is still crammed...it didnt look like that in the preview so i dunno...1

^^^^^^^^^^^uppin^^^^^^^^^^^^^

what the hell does that word mean!?! im glad ur smart but im not so explain lol

its one of those chairs for woman to.........ah.......you know......"ride".....1

and im not really that smart....i just saw it in some one elses post and thought it was funny

oh yeah Blazin...you got any new threads?