homeless...
 

struck down wiv diseases yet still seases the moment...
to the eye he pleases but still freezes like an aunament...
battle for food like a tournament that plays on the mind...
chewin on bacon rind yet wen asked he says hes dined...
abused as a child, scars from youth all that mark his birth...
it hurts to think a shoppin trolley holds everything hes worth...
some question his determination to search 4 an occupation...
but any attempt gets pushed aside without any notification...
so continuation of a struggle...that is his life thats a muddle...
no mother to cuddle...to keep warm has a blanket to huddle...
baths in a puddle of dirt...n hibination? this kids an expert...
exerts fear into strangers...the looks of disgust must hurt...
some days he'll take...time to think put his life on a plate...
contemplatin suicide n doesn't want to wait, sets a date...
n just as he believes its fate.....he rolls over and wakes....
..............chill out y'all it was just a dream for fuck sake....


15 mins work...holla wiv feedback...

I like this piece transitions are well used. am feelin it is story tellin this would sound good in audio.

damn i thought this was a rhyme about class-sic lol

Dayum nice drop sum real dope rhyming in that sum good multies in that liked the ending...all of it was a dream kinda like Dynasty lol...anyway good drop fella...hit ma SinnerBitch link in my sig props... :thumbup:

This was dope

good from begining to end

nice use of vocab and flow.....

8-10

hit up any of mine below

They dope

this was an okay peice, you had some good use of vocabulary
and decent flow, though i feel that you could of used a little
bit more explanation in proving your point this was a decent.
i give you a 6.5/10

pz

this was a well put together drop, good flow and vocabulary, stayed on point from beginning to end, keep dropping.......1

o.k uppin more feedback n i did mean it wen i sed 15 mins..........