war
 

W.A.R




I got flesh on my flesh/
intense with eyes open to the mess/
open to war and shots fired/
im open flesh lookin for retirement/
catch view of the sanity/
reality hit harder then a bullet inside of me/
thoughts alive with fear hiddin to survive/
body in motion with a full metal jacket/
color of green the money of schemes/
they send us out cause they see money as a win/
im a born killa in sin/
cant lock off unlock the locks off/
im left a numba lost/
in this war holocaust/
and how much it cost/
for me to enter and move forth/
an army of one/
im the general and my recruit is my gun/
I sleep awake an alert/
affairs with my nightmares as my only flirt/
enemies is the remedy to lettin my breath/
many of these memories are meant to seen/
put struggle in front of hope/
and il drop hopin hope hopefully loads its hold/
and stands under pressure loaded and doesnt unload/
cause if not im right behind it pussin it forth/
standin up cause iv standed enough/
with rough edges I stand to the tip/
and throw myself off head first/
into this verse/

like the imagery and wordplay, good emotion also. stylistically some of the lines need playing with, like the flow and rhyme aint always what they could be. all the same, i was definitely feeling it. i'd say... 7/10.

return the favour and check out my "fulcrum shift" piece if you get the chance. peace!

yo thanks uppint this for feed back now dont sleep yall