Broken Glass No Reflection
 

Alot of people say Im wack or have no talent at all

Staring at my reflection in the mirror i see shards of broken glass~
Reflecting on the broken years and the slivers of tears in my past~
The baccground falls and I see millions of miniature me's and a cracced life~
Falling bacc into my mind where repetative actions tear my soul like a knife~
The glass bleeds and i realize that it is a copy of my cut up face~
My heart is bleeding for somethin unknown that i wish to just escape~
Reaching out to put bacc together the once beautiful reflection with my finger tips~
Kissing goodbye to the nightmares and the lies with chapped and broken lips~
The mirror bleeds again, red liquid falling along the glass slivers~
My hands are hurt by what i want to reach out to; give hope to, and the pain makes me quiver~
The glass falls and shatters to the ground reflecting only the blood it lies in~
Tryin unsuccessfully to picc up parts of myself that i cannot stop dispersin~
And i stare at the pieces of glass that have gotten smaller in size yet have grown in number~
I wonder when my life will completely fall apart and ill be able to enter eternal slumber~
My hand reaches once more for the glass but instead it cuts my foot as i tread, forbidding me to walk~
Swallowing down the pain and anger , gettin the emotions caught in my throat, i cannot talk~
I fall to my knees and more glass invades my skin and bones~
Blades in my stomach replaces the butterflies that once came from love for hip hop, leaving me all alone~
I rub my eye to wipe the tears and the mirror gets caught, ironically stoping my sight~
Stabs of pain in my back kill the support and penetrate into my heart of ice~
The room gets dark, and i see nothing, not a sliver of glass, or a reflection of the self i despise~
I hold no feelings, my body is glass, but no more tears for....for i have no feeling left to cry~

Have I Fallin off?

This was a good piece, that could become an absolute dope piece...
I liked the topic, and how you approached..but some lines were stretched, which killed the flow at parts...but you can fix that up for sure...really felt that piece man

drop some feedback on mine..
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=153786

^^Free Poster. Should Be Banned
Nah U Havnt Fallen Off.. That Shit Was Pretty Dope :thumbup:

i like that. its pretty deep. keep writing and ill keep reading you stuff man. you got some real talent

yes, you have talent, one of the few briliant people on here, i love reading your work, you have a vrey versatile style...and i nominate you for the poet award......1

yeah man i liked the way u did that.. U came thru with Emotion and deep thought
u cud definately feel it.. i rate man .dope..*thumbsup*

i think it was good... i think sometimes in your lines you'll overstate sometimes....
example of what I mean:
The glass bleeds and i realize that it is a copy of my cut up face~
My heart is bleeding for somethin unknown that i wish to just escape~

its not bad-- but it reads choppy, you could have said this with less or different words.
You have pretty good description... keep droppin and fuck the hataz.